Nine Clean Words that Sound Dirty

The English language is loaded with dirty words. It is also loaded with clean words that sound dirty. Being the kind of guy I am (a junior high mentality), words like that amuse me. If you snicker whenever you hear the word coccyx, for instance, you will probably enjoy these...

Philatelist

This word sounds like it represents a person who enjoys giving oral sex, but actually a philatelist is a stamp collector. Now if you happened to be a stamp collector who also enjoys performing oral sex, you would be one popular nerd.

Fallacious

Again, this one sounds like it may have something to do with oral sex; however fallacious refers to a false or misleading statement. For instance, "If you do that for me, I'll give you oral sex."

Cunning Linguist

A cunning linguist is a person who is a shrewd speaker of multiple languages. This is not to be confused with a person who is a shrewd giver of multiple orgasms.

Angina

A condition characterized by suffocating, painful spasms (such as a heart attack) is known as angina. So remember, if the doctor tells you that your wife has "acute angina," he is not talking about her hoo-hoo; he is simply warning you about a serious medical condition.

Masticate

When we eat, we masticate, or chew. If someone calls you an "excessive masticator," it means you eat too much. It doesn't mean he's been peeking in your bedroom window.

Thespian

A thespian is an actor, not a chick who digs chicks; unless, of course, that actor is Jody Foster, who also happens to be a chick who digs chicks.

Volvo

A warning to all men: It is important to know that if a woman offers to give you a ride in her Volvo, she is talking about her car! That mistake nearly got me five-to-ten.

Uranus

One of the planets that revolve around the sun is called Uranus, which is not the same thing as that area of your body where the sun don't shine.

Rectify

You may think that rectify is a word that relates to that area down under, but it isn't. It means to fix or correct, as in: "Fernando's hemorrhoids became so inflamed that he had to have surgery in that area down under in order to rectify the situation."

So there you go; nine words that sound dirty, but aren't. Feel free to add to the list.