Nine Signs that He's Not Mr. Right

With the release of movies such as The Ugly Truth, many women (and some men) reflect on their own search for "Mr. Right." In many cases, it's easier to determine whether a guy is "Mr. Wrong." In this article, I'm going to describe nine ways that a man or woman can tell if a guy is Mr. Wrong. Remember that these suggestions are gender-independent (i.e. Ms. Wrong), so straight men and lesbian women need not feel excluded.

Mr. Wrong Sign #1 - Bad Chemistry
This one should be obvious, so if you feel it's redundant, skip to the next point. If you just don't feel right with a guy, he probably isn't the one. Whether it's the things you talk about, the way he comes across, or even the way he speaks, if something bothers you, you shouldn't bother pursuing a relationship. A good test is to see whether you can speak with him for more than ten minutes without there being an awkward pause or shift in conversation. However, don't discount a guy that is visibly nervous talking to you. He might be a really nice guy that is intimidated by you at the moment. Take it as a compliment. And yes, I'm saying that because there's been many a time when I've been nervous talking to girls. You're welcome, guys.

Mr. Wrong Sign #2 - Ego
Everyone has at least a bit of an ego, but an ego that is overwhelming is a sure sign of Mr. Wrong. This ego might reveal itself through an excessive fixation on personal appearance, a constant discussion of himself or topics that are of interest only to him, or an inability to cede even the simplest point. This list is not all-inclusive, of course. An overwhelming ego will make it difficult to have give and take in a relationship, so it may be best not to enter into a relationship with such a person. Mr. Right will be willing to listen to you, will pay attention to you, and will admit when he is wrong.

Mr. Wrong Sign #3 - Poor Communication
Poor communication can manifest itself in various different ways, such as a lack of communication, constant arguments, or miscommunication. Relationships are built on good communication, so if you can't communicate well as friends or acquaintances, you probably won't be able to improve that in a relationship. You should be able to communicate with Mr. Right from the outset, and it should continue for the duration of your relationship.

Mr. Wrong Sign #4 - Significant Differences in Opinion
It turns out that opposites don't actually attract. Psychologists have found that people that have similar views and tendencies make the best couples. If you and your prospective significant other disagree on fundamental issues such as religion, politics, or sex, you may want to think about avoiding the relationship. It is unlikely that opinions will change, but it is likely that conflict will be present on a frequent basis. You and Mr. Right will agree or lean in the same direction on the most important issues.

Mr. Wrong Sign #5 - Significant Differences in Goals
Let's use having a family as an example. You don't want a family, but he does. You either have or do not have a family, there's not a way to compromise. Unless you or he has a change in opinion, one of you will be unhappy and feel either deprived of an experience or burdened with something that you did not want. There's no way that he's Mr. Right if you want completely different things out of life.

Mr. Wrong Sign #6 - Significant Differences in Commitment
If you're looking for Mr. Right, you're probably looking for a long-term, committed relationship. That being said, even if you find a guy that seems perfect, he might not be looking for the same thing. On the flip side, he could be overly clingy and stalkerish, or might push for your relationship to move much more quickly than you would prefer it did. Again, these might be signs that he's not Mr. Right after all.

Mr. Wrong Sign #7 - A History of Infidelity
To the best of your ability, see if a prospective significant other has a history of infidelity. If he cheated in a previous relationship, there's a strong possibility that he'll do it again. And if you can't trust your partner, you can't sustain a long-term relationship. Not Mr. Right.

Mr. Wrong Sign #8 - Addictions
Addictions to drugs or alcohol are never positive, and can make being in a relationship with a person excruciatingly painful or impossible. Save yourself the time, effort, and emotional trauma and find someone that is not hindered by such a problem. Mr. Right should not be crippled by these problems, and don't trick yourself into thinking that you alone can "save" an individual, especially if he does not recognize that he has a problem.

Mr. Wrong Sign #9 - Abusive or Controlling Tendencies
Again, this is goes without saying. Mr. Right will not be abusive or want to control you. I would say that a tiny bit of jealousy is natural in guys, but Mr. Right will manage it in a rational manner. If you are fearful of a guy, he is surely not Mr. Right.

It's difficult to find Mr. Right, and if your prospective significant other exhibits one or more of the above traits, it's quite possible that he's Mr. Wrong. Remember that there are always more people out there, so you shouldn't settle for less than you want. Have any further tips for spotting Mr. Wrong or finding Mr. Right? Feel free to share your thoughts in the form of a comment. Thank you for reading!