Nine Ways to Drive Him Wild in Bed

You've seen them- magazines with articles claiming they can teach you "10 Ways to Drive Him Crazy" or "8 Great Things to Do in Bed." These writers guarantee that if you just follow their instructions you man will flip. If you've ever actually tried their tips however, you've probably realized that stroking your boyfriend's pectorals just doesn't cut it. So instead I have polled the boyfriends, husbands, girlfriends and wives in my area and have compiled nine fool-proof ways to drive your guy absolutely crazy.

• 9. Wait until you are settling down for the night, then start telling him about your day. This is especially effective if he has just had a long, exhausting day at work. Wait until he's drifting off and being your sentence with "Did I tell you...?"
• 8. Bring every stuffed animal you've ever owned to bed with you. This one will really drive him nuts. With the 900 stuffed bears, kitties, and assorted animals you've collected since you were five years old spread across the mattress, he'll be hard pressed to find a spot that isn't lumpy with teddy bear limbs. And just imagine the look on his face when he rolls off Tugger the Tiger at three in the morning only to come face to face with beady eyed Mr. Cuddles.
• 7. Leave your hair loose at bedtime. This one is for all you long-haired ladies out there. You know how you braid up or bun your hair at night? Don't. Nothing drives a man crazy quite like being woken up at night by his wife's hair trying to suffocate him. It's an extra bonus for him if it tickles him while he's trying to fall asleep. The nose and eyes are especially sensitive!
• 6. Ask him to get you something to drink. Just when he's found the perfect spot on the mattress say, "Babe, could you get me some water?" Be sure to add an irresistible smile because being aroused from that perfect, once-in-a-lifetime spot can make some men almost homicidal. If he says no throw in a pout, that will really get his attention (and probably his agreement, however reluctant).
• 5. Make yourself comfortable on most of the bed. Let's say you've had a long day and your back hurts. Or he just got up to get you that glass of water and left that cozy warm space behind. The most logical solution is to stretch yourself out. It will really drive him crazy knowing that 5'5" you has pushed 6'2" him into an 18" square section of the mattress.
• 4. Touch him with your icy toes. So your day hasn't been bad at all and you're feeling affectionate. As you snuggle up to your lover, press your frozen tootsies to his lower back. That yelp you hear as he leaps out of bed means he's paying attention.
• 3. Steal all the covers. Your toes are cold. The rest of you probably is too. In fact, the whole house is freezing that bully next to you doesn't believe in turning up the thermostat. The best way to warm yourself up- and punish the penny pincher- is to wrap yourself into a cozy cocoon of sheets and blankets. If he's so fond of the cold, he can sleep in it! And if not, you'll probably get the temperature turned up. Or wake up next to a grumpy popsicle.
• 2. Ask him if he's asleep. He'll love this one, particularly if you try it thirty minutes to an hour after you've retired for the night. Pulling him back from his drowsy state will really drive him wild.

And the number one way to drive your man crazy in bed...

• 1. "I'm not tired." You insisted that you both ought to go to bed early so you would get enough sleep. He grudgingly agreed and brushed his teeth, changed into pajamas and snuggled under the blankets. When you drop this one, he recoils inside and grits his teeth because he knows it means hours of talking that will end up keeping the both of you awake hours after you would normally have been asleep.

Bedtime has always been all about winding down and relaxing, but modern life is more fast paced, more exciting! If you need that extra zing in your relationship, driving him wild is a good place to start. If you really need a boost, try all of these tips at once! I guarantee you'll drive your man wild.