Nine of the Worst Holiday Gift Ideas Ever

Before you know it, the holidays will be here and we'll be sitting in our living room, eagerly opening up packages we've been sent or presenting gifts we've purchased for others. One thing you can count on every year is that there will be at least one horrendous thing you get from somebody else. You may even be guilty yourself of giving bad gifts to others. I just think there are some things that people should just avoid giving, to prevent any embarrassment, for either themselves or the "giftee."

Here are nine items you should never consider bestowing upon anyone for the holidays.

Fruitcake

Hey, personally, I am not a hater of fruitcakes, despite their dismal reputation. This is probably because my grandmother, one of the best cooks in the world, made one every year and it was delicious. Really, it was!

Not all people, however, are as exultant about being gifted with this annual "treat."

I've heard some weird tales about what people do with fruitcakes-they've been given- like using them as doorstops-and heard some unkind expletives mumbled about the person who gave it to them.

There is no in-between reaction regarding fruitcakes. There are either folks who love them or folks who hate them with a passion and I'm afraid that there are far more of the latter.

I know of individuals who still have old tins of fruitcakes they were given sometime back, with no idea of how long they've had them. They just know they are going to get a fruitcake every Christmas from the same relative, so they just smile and thank her, then pack it away someplace and forget about it.

So, if you are thinking about ordering a fruitcake for a friend or family member this year, please don't.

Some traditions should just die.

Underwear

What is it about parents giving you underwear as a holiday gift?

Every Christmas I can remember, when my mother was still alive, I received that inevitable package that I knew, without having to open it, contained four or five pairs of cotton drawers.

This happened even after I was an adult. In speaking with some of my friends, I discovered that all of them had similar experiences.

I guess it's that mothers somehow believe that, after all those excessive toys and goodies you receive, giving you that one practical gift will keep you grounded.

Still, as far as gifts go, it's really anticlimactic to take all that time to pull off the beautiful bows and paper from an elaborately wrapped package, only to take the top off the box and find yourself staring at a Hanes label. I can still hear Mama exclaiming, "And look at how far the elastic waistband stretches!"

If your parents did this to you, please break the vicious cycle, so it won't be passed to another unfortunate generation.

Potholders

I can forgive a five year old for presenting me with potholders for Christmas, but this kind of gift is usually what you get from grown folks-like co-workers on your job your boss forces you to do anonymous gift exchanges with- who clearly did a lot of massive shopping at the 99 cents store.

Either it's those icky potholders that are obviously the most inexpensive thing they could get, with a drawing of some animal on them or, even worse, homemade crocheted ones. My guess is that once you put these babies on anything hot, they will melt right through and you'll find yourself with second degree burns on your hands.

Nothing screams, "Last minute shopping!" like presenting potholders as a gift.

Nose Hair Trimmer

You are telling the person that you've decided to give this to that you've been doing some overtime observation of their nostril area.

Some gift-givers evidently think it's important to offer a "sensible" gift that they feel will be useful. Given the fact that people usually want something as a holiday gift that makes them feel good about themselves, this one falls well into the area of an "insult."

Don't give a human being anything that involves the trimming of any hair follicles anywhere on his or her person this season.

Clothes Items of Questionable Size

I don't think there is anyone who hasn't gotten some ill-fitting clothes item from a well-meaning relative.

My rule of thumb is that, if you don't know the right size of the individuals you are buying clothes for, simply guessing is not a smart thing to do.

If you give them something that's too small, they get mortified when they try to put it on in front of everybody and find that they can't button it, zip it or even pull it up. If you give them something way too big, they are not going to be flattered that you think they are humongous.

The best thing to do is to give them a gift certificate and then they get to pick their own clothes at the right size.

Sausage and cheese gift packs

Giving the smaller quantity sausage and gift packs is okay, but you have to wonder about people who give one of those mega-food gift packs- you know, the ones with 100 varieties of smoked summer sausage sticks and 40 packages of soft cheeses. Not only will there probably be nowhere to store everything, but it would take a year to eat all that stuff.

Gifting someone with enough processed meat to clog up a dinosaur's colon is not the best idea.

Cheap perfume

Know when you're getting older? When people start giving you that putrid lilac-scented perfume like your Great Aunt Flossie used to wear, you begin to really feel your age.

Of course, one doesn't have to be approaching menopause to receive bad perfume as a gift.

I'm not saying that anybody has to spend a mint, but, if you are going to give perfume this holiday, at least buy it someplace other than Walgreens.

Hard-to-assemble items

That combination hutch and food cart looked nifty in the catalog, but chances are that it's a bugger to put together.

No one likes getting anything that's too complicated to construct. I remember choosing a desk for my husband one year and watched in anticipation of what I felt would be his overjoyed response once he saw my gift. Instead, what I got was his pained expression, once he read the instructions on the box containing the parts. It claimed to supposedly be "easy-to- assemble"

After several days of futile efforts, he gave up trying and made me promise never to buy him anything else like this.

Giving a person anything that causes stress is not good.

Chia Anything

Chia Pets have been around for quite awhile.

You get a ceramic figurine in the form of some critter, paste chia seeds to it and wait anxiously for the days to go by, so that greenery begins to sprout from it. Now, they even have Chia Heads available, too.

Giving this to a person lets them know two things: You are unoriginal and cheap.

What would you do if ...?

Before deciding to plunk down your cash for that "special" gift, always ask yourself first how you'd feel if you were the recipient.
Maybe that will help you make a lot better choices this time around.