No on California Prop 4

All parents want their daughters to talk to them about something as important as a pregnancy and most girls discuss pregnancy with their family. For some girls of less fortunate circumstance, the discussion is not just a life changing one; could be a life or death discussion. I know these girls exist, I am one of them.

I was ping-ponged between family members my entire life. After living with my resentful grandmother for several years, I ate a pickle in the living room, and as punishment, was sent to live with my mother. My alcoholic mother left raising my sister to me, while she and her abusive husband obliterated themselves with booze. We were left alone for days at a time, often with nothing to eat. When they were home, my stepfather was putting my mother through plate glass windows, breaking her bones, and destroying her face. When he was done with her he would turn to my sister. At twelve years old, I was often tasked with staring down or fighting back against a man to protect my sister and mother. It is no exaggeration to say that my sister and I walked a line between life and death every single day. As an act of revenge he raped me. Not long after that, my grandmother agreed to take us back.

When I was fourteen I entered my first sexual relationship with an abusive guy and swiftly got pregnant. I had an abortion. There never was a question about what I should do, to have a baby would be a travesty for me and endanger a child in the same ways I experienced.

Under the law proposed in Prop 4, I would have had to tell my grandmother about the abortion. She would have allowed me to have the abortion, and then swiftly shipped me off to live with my mother to be raped, neglected and abused some more. I would have killed myself before allowing myself to go through that abuse again.

If faced with the choice given, I would have figured out how to force an abortion myself or hitchhiked to a state that would allow me an abortion without parental consent. I would have done anything not to end up back with my mother, dying a slow death or fearing a quick one.

Stop and ask yourself, if my daughter doesn't feel she could talk to me about an abortion, would I rather my daughter have a safe procedure without my knowledge or do anything to have an unsafe abortion. Before you answer, please consider this situation. Your daughter thinks she is too drunk to drive home from a party. She is ashamed and doesn't want to call you for a ride. She could drive her own car home drunk or she could call a friend she knows is sober to come and pick her up for a sleep over. Any good parent would want their daughter to be safe, even if it meant they never knew about the potentially dangerous situation.

By voting for Prop 4, you may be forcing your daughter into an unsafe situation. Remember though, to some of us the decision to tell our family isn't just one of shame but fear. Decent, compassionate people will vote against Prop 4 in California, they will protect the girls who don't have the comfort of home and protect their own daughters from danger. Are you a decent, compassionate person?