No Child Left Behind? Please... Leave Mine!

It's 8:30 AM on the first day of school. I wave to the school bus as it drives away, just as I have for the past 4 years. I pick up my keys, my purse and my briefcase and I kiss my son goodbye and tell him to have a good day. This year, our family has joined the ranks of homeschoolers.

My son is a very intelligent kid who happens to be dyslexic and according to all the psychologists tests, also has ADD. In 1st Grade, when he began displaying symptoms of dyslexia, I didn't panic. I was diagnosed with Dyslexia in 1st grade and went on to become a very good speller and an English major in college. I am living proof that Dyslexia is not a life-sentence. With extra phonics training, speech therapy and some very understanding teachers, I became a successful student. But, that was then....

What I didn't count on is what has changed in the world of Education. When I noticed that my son was having difficulty in 1st Grade, I immediately called his Principal and asked if the school was capable of doing a dyslexia screening. I was told that yes, they could do a screening, but that there is a process that needed to be put in place first. And so it began....

In order for my son to receive any help or modifications, we had to form an "Intervention Team" to discuss what issues he was having and to form a plan. I sat through several meeting with the team and listened to teachers talk about how he simply does not pay attention. I listened to teachers talk about how he talks in class and doesn't give a solid effort in learning to read. I listened to teachers and professionals explain that they didn't think that dyslexia was an issue, but rather that he probably has ADHD. Despite my protests of, "He's in 1st GRADE!", they continued to express their very strong opinions that he was showing signs of ADD. From research and experience, I can tell you, he was displaying classic signs of dyslexia (ie: every time he encountered specific words, it was as if it were the first time, he could not tie his shoes, he got motion sickness looking at words on a page).

In order for him to be evaluated for learning disabilities, and therefore any modifications within the classroom, he had to show that there was a significant gap between his abilities and his achievement. Normally, they explained that takes about 2 years. They said that they could offer him extra tutoring and some one-on-one time with a reading specialist. I was willing to take what I could get. The very next day, my son began being pulled out of his classroom for 30 minutes a day to work on reading and spelling. In the meantime, he fell further behind in Science, Social Studies and Math, because he could not read the instructions. However, no modifications could be made in the classroom as he had not yet "qualified" for that help. My son attended summer school between 1st and 2nd grade.

The beginning of 2nd grade brought the decision to go ahead and have him evaluated. The tests showed that he had difficulty with phonemic awareness, a slow working memory, a slow processing speed and the reading ability of a Kindergartner. He qualified for Special Educations Services. Despite all of the areas of difficulty being indicative of Dyslexia, the school refused to use that word - instead referring to it as "Specific Learning Disability". Which is funny , because you really can't be more non-specific, SLD is defined as:
a disorder in one or more of the basic psychological processes involved in understanding or in using language, spoken or written, which disorder may manifest itself in the imperfect ability to listen, think, speak, read, write, spell, or do mathematical calculations.
However, I felt relieved, because I though that he would finally be getting some help that he needed. With the Individualized Education Plan, we would be able to have the teacher explain things to him orally so that he could catch up, he would receive specialized Language Arts tutoring and would be given more time in the General classroom to complete assignments. Well... not exactly. True, the teacher did give him oral instructions, with the rest of the class. However, because of the slow processing speed and slow working memory, often that information, if more than a sentence or two was forgotten before she finished speaking. It wasn't a lack of attention, he simply could not process and retain that information. When he asked her to repeat the information, he was yelled at for not paying attention. He was pulled out daily for Language Arts and was in a classroom with 6 other kids. These kids had many different disabilities; deafness, retardation, Downs Syndrome, ADD, and there were a few that quite honestly, had behavior problems. They were all taught the same information in the exact same way. He DID however receive extra time to finish assignments, however that extra time was offered during recess. My son missed 90% of his recess time that year.

His 2nd grade teacher was a first year teacher. She was unrealistic in her expectations of any 2nd grader, let alone a child with learning disabilities. She was demeaning and unkind and was naïve enough to allow that to come through in her voice when she spoke to me. Each night he and I spent 4-5 hours working on homework. I re-taught everything that he was supposed to have learned that day. Inevitably, the conversation would turn to him looking at me with tears in his eyes asking, "Why can't you be my teacher?"

I'd love to tell you that 3rd grade brought a better year. However, while it brought a somewhat more compassionate teacher, the end result was the same. He was said to have ADD, nothing was done to address his Dyslexia and consequently he fell further behind. His Special Education teacher in 3rd grade could not spell to save her life. She substituted words like "ware" for "wear", misspelled "relatives" as "realatives", and constantly used the wrong tense on homework assignments. He was punished for not being able to copy information from the board.

This year, in Parent/Teacher conferences, I was told that he was "too quiet". I was told that he would not ask for assistance, but would instead choose to allow his mind to wander. Of course!!! My suggestion that perhaps the prior years of him being yelled at for asking question had caused him to close himself up and to be as quiet as possible fell on deaf ears. The recommendation was again made that he should be evaluated for ADD and possibly put on medication. Again, I refused stating that I had no problem keeping his attention when we were doing the 4 hours of homework that he completed each night.

Towards the end of the 3rd grade, I made the decision to have him independently evaluated. I found a Psychologist who specializes in Learning Disabilities. Of course, I may have also found the only Psychologist who claims to have ADD as well. After several months of testing, my son was found to have an above average IQ, to have Dyslexia, and to have ADD. The Dr. did however agree that his "ADD" symptoms may in fact be "learned ADD". If he has given 100% in the past, only to be chastised for not paying attention, he has probably learned that it hurts less to try less and fail than to try hard and fail. He told us that we were going to be in for a heck of a fight to get our son the help that he needs, however he'd be there to fight with us if we needed him.

Throughout all of this, I had been doing research on the process of getting a child the help that he needs within the public school system and what I learned is this... you have to be willing to fight, you have to know your rights better than an attorney, and speaking of an attorney - it's not a bad idea to have one. We made a tough decision. We made the decision not to fight. Oh, I could continue to fight to get the help that he needs, and in the meantime, he will continue to falter in school and will turn into a quiet, distanced child who is very unhappy. I was unwilling to allow that to happen. We made the decision to homeschool him for the next couple of years and to let him get caught up and to heal from the emotional abuse that he endured at school. I am unable to be a stay-at-home mom right now because our finances require my income. However, we have found a way to make it work.

I found an Online Curriculum that he loves. It is self-paced and the information is delivered in bite-sized pieces. Our "back-to-school" shopping this year consisted of a new computer desk, a new computer monitor, a ferret to keep him company and some new slippers. I will continue working 4 days a week while my husband works from home. We will review in the evenings and on the weekends. Although I wish that I had more time to spend with him while he homeschools, I know that in the long-run, we've made the best decision possible. So this morning as I waved to the kids leaving on the bus, I thanked my lucky stars that MY kid wasn't one of them!!!