No Dad, Cha Cha Says You're Wrong

"Pa, how do you reckon them Egyptians built the Pyramids?" Opie Taylor might have asked his father Andy. In response, Andy would've gazed upwardly, rubbed his chin, and then leaned back on his desk, pondering for just a moment, "Now Opie, seems to me that I read an article one time that said the Egyptians...." If I had seen it once, I had seen it a dozen times before on the Andy Griffith Show. A dad imparting a little wisdom to his young son. The explanation seemed less important as the intent in young Opie's eyes, as he hung on the words of his father, as if they were the words of Solomon.

A nostalgic time, to say the least. I grew up watching shows like Andy Griffith , Leave It To Beaver, for that matter even the Cosby Show. In fact I remember holding my infant daughter as she slept on my lap while we rocked. Andy was in the middle of explaining some life changing event in Opie's life. Maybe it was the episode were his bully ends up being a girl? Doesn't matter, I remember holding her and thinking some day, that will be me and Jordan. She hanging on my every word, absorbing my direction.

It was easy to see that she really wasn't going to listen to much of anything for the first few years, that's why Opie was an adolescent when the show started, I'm sure. But maybe around four, I began to see my chance for those 'Andy' like moments. Nothing earth shattering, but I could begin to build that foundation.

When she was four Meric was two and taking a lot of his mother's energy, giving Jordan an I time to discuss life's pressing questions, like what makes it rain or where do frogs come from. Her attention span was short, but I was building for a few years down the road.

The sitcom scripted father figure I aspired to be, quickly began to unreel when she went to kindergarten. I can't even recall the question she had asked, but I do remember striking my Andy like pose and waxing to some extent about whatever it was we were discussing. As I looked down fully expecting to see her excepting glance in return, I was instead met with, "Teacher said..."

No cause for alarm, even Andy had to deal with Ms. Crump and I seem to remember that turned out alright. We could just call this one a draw, my mother was a teacher, so I thought it was better to say that I was miss informed. And quite frankly I was pretty sure I was wrong.

My bigger concern was that this was the beginning of a trend. Was the education system setting me up for failure? Opie maintained an "Ah, shucks" kind of mentality, but not this one. She continued to question and prod utilizing every resource to prove or disprove whatever it was that I was explaining.

The final call came this summer as Jordan, Meric and I sat around the campfire at Mozingo. We cracked jokes, burned marshmallows and had an great evening, until a daddy long leg spider crawled across my legs. I pointed it out, my son went to hit it.

"Don't!" I exclaimed, "taking it's size into consideration, it is actually one of the most poisonous spiders around."

"No it isn't" Jordan shot back.

"Not harmful to humans but to other insects..." I said back peddling.

"With cell phone in hand she rebutted, "Cha Cha says they are completely harmless to humans and pets. They produce no venom, have no fangs, and are not known to bite...."

She kept going, but had lost me. To many questions were running through my head. Who is this Cha Cha? Why did they want my daughter to no longer believe in me? Was I getting charged for that service? And most importantly how would Andy have reacted?

"My, my, my, Jordan, I can't even imagine how you asked the question that quick, let alone got a response," I said trying to use Andy's delivery, "the speed with which you young on's can get information is astounding. Just promise me you will never stop questioning."

Maybe I hadn't become that great TV dad, but I think Andy would have been happy with me just the same.