No More Drama

Drama! That was what my life was about, even when I knew I was getting involved with a problematic person; I was going to save them from themselves. If you can imagine how a turtle carries his shell on his back that is how I carried my problems.

Low self-esteem issues, feelings of loneliness, not being someone lovable etc. Having these issues only attracted me to me who had issues of their own, men with drug or alcohol addictions, unemployed and or on the down low, etc. He could have crawled from under a rock; I did not care. I would try to pull him from under the rock, even though my loaded down back only allowed me to do but so much.

My loneliness drew me to addictive habits and people with these habits also. Taking care of me was not an important issue to me. I also witnessed other women that were in unhealthy relationships. Loneliness would be the main reason why these women chose to make bad choices when it came to men.

The world trouble could have been stamped on his forehead it did not matter. I have even heard some women talk about how they prayed to God for a man, the problem with that is you need to be specific with prayers. Men that come into our life and are not good people are not prayers that God has answered.

God would not send into our life someone who abuses drugs or alcohol, or lies and is verbally or physically abusive. In addition some things that we want we should keep to ourselves and not talk about them aloud. There are evil forces out there who listen to our conversations who try to make bad people seem good and they send these people into our life.

Mary J. Blige starts off with the words, "How can I love somebody else, if I can't love myself enough to know, when it's time, time to let go?" All she really wanted was to be happy and to be in love, that is what all women and men want, that is the way that we were designed. I realized that before I could love someone and be happy with someone else it had to begin with me. I had to start facing truths about who I am and work on my weaknesses and be happy with my strengths.

I had to learn to appreciate myself as a woman and recognize that when a relationship was not productive let it go. Therefore, I have no come to the realization if and when I do become involved with a man when I see that he does not treasure me as I value me, it is time to walk away.

I also had to come to appreciate the love that my intelligent creator had for me. You or I were not created to be with just anyone or to be mistreated. The foundation that I will build any of my relationships whether it is for friendship or romantic reasons will be based on teachings from the bible.

Acknowledging a creator or worshiping him is something that as a whole people are beginning to try to steer away from. People want make their own decisions and answer to no one but this clearly has led to the chaos that the world is in.

I now know I was self-destructive because of loneliness and low self worth. The feelings that I had about myself as a child, I took them into adulthood. This led to making bad decisions and drawing to people that was not always in my best interest.

After that self examination under a microscope and observations of talking to friends, I cam to one decision, no more self pity. I decided that I was going to learn to love them. That is why "I Refuse To Lonely," and like Mary J. Blige says "No More Drama In My Life." That is not to say that I will not have problems, but I want put more drama on myself that necessary because of a man that is no good, or buying that pair of shoes that I could not afford, or taking that drug will led me on a downward spiral. I also came to realize that if I did not love and take care of my body and my spiritual needs, no one else was going to do it for me.

I love to write poetry and tell stories about women (including myself in some cases) who have because of loneliness turned to men that were counteractive to living a healthful life and other negative bad habits trying to fill that lonely spot and find happiness.

There are also poems about loving and believing in ourselves but more important believing that there is a True God and he is a very intelligent and loving creator.

There are women and (I was one) with the mind set "as long as I got a man," it is time to think different. Dig deep within you, and say "Enough" Get out of that negative place that you are presently. It can be hard but if I can do it, anybody can! This may include the relationship that you are in, the drugs you may be taking or anything that is bringing you down.

Become the WOMAN that you were created to be.