No More (Hollywood Film) Heroes Any More - Whatever Happened To...Arnie, Mel, Charlie?

Schwarzenegger was the ultimate action hero, wasn't he? He played the good guy and the bad guy with equal panache. And in real life, the bad guy got the better of him. Having been a successful film star and then governor of California, he presented himself as a solid citizen and good husband and father. Yet he threw his (official) family into chaos and despair in 2011 with the revelation that he hid an affair and illegitimate child with the family housekeeper for 15 years.

All along, Arnie was hiding a dirty secret of deceit and betrayal in which he'd conducted an affair with housekeeper Mildred 'Patty' Baena right under the nose of his wife Maria Shriver. He'd impregnated both women at the same time and watched as both pregnancies progressed, with Maria the only one in Arnie's sick triangle who was unaware that a member of her staff was pregnant by her husband.

Betrayal doesn't come much more comprehensive than this. Schwarzenegger could hardly have done more damage to his wife if he'd beaten her with his fists. Shriver will bear the scars of the double betrayal for the rest of her life.

Schwarzenegger's not the only star to fall from grace of late. Mel Gibson also treated his supportive wife of decades, the mother of his seven children, to contempt, infidelity and abandonment. Discarding Robyn for young Russian, Oksana Grigorieva, Mel lost no time developing his midlife crisis by impregnating his mistress. Like Arnie, Mel has since discovered that infidelity and betrayal can come back and bite you in the ankles - but Maria Shriver, Robyn Gibson and the children involved in the chaos and attendant divorces are the ones who really suffer.

Charlie Sheen's in a category of his own when it comes to self-destruct. His children, and the mothers of his children, are inevitably affected by the chaos he generates. It's sad and disappointing to see a once-reasonably-talented film actor unravel as Sheen has done in recent years. He was never a match, in acting terms, for his father Martin, but he gave good performances in Wall Street and Platoon.

The interesting thing in all 3 cases is that these 'stars' had everything going for them. They were all doing really well when they started messing their lives up, along with the lives of their wives and kids. They had loving families, career success, plenty of money, good health. They weren't victims of the "tall-poppy syndrome" prevalent in England for example, where the press and TV will try to destroy a big star or a popular public figure. Arnie, Mel and Charlie hit the destruct button all by themselves by engaging in behaviour pretty much bound to lead to trouble.

Arnie and Mel in particular had images as, if you like, "real men" - men who had life under control, men who were successful, men who cared for their families. They detonated those images by stupid behaviour, sexual disloyalty and emotional betrayal. Casually creating babies in rotten circumstances was one of the consequences. Hurting their wives and kids acutely was another. The idea that these were good men, or responsible men, flew out of the window. As for wisdom increasing with age, Mel and Arnie demonstrate just the opposite. As well as proving themselves to be selfish and cruel, they also look foolish.

Michael Douglas is an example of a star who does seem to have become wiser with age. He seems to care very genuinely for his wife and kids and he faced his diagnosis and treatment for mouth and throat cancer with courage and dignity. His amazing father, Kirk Douglas, can be proud of the son he raised even though he says he, like Michael, was not the best of fathers at the outset.

Bruce Willis has also grown in wisdom from the days of his callow youth (when he seemed so full of himself!) He's proven to be a really good actor - with Brad Pitt in "Twelve Monkeys" for example - and he handled his divorce well, remaining close to Demi Moore and his kids.

Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt are two more current stars who seem to be pretty admirable. They both seem to be good partners and good fathers. So far, they seem to be escaping the midlife crises which saw Mel and Arnie go off the rails. Both Pitt and Depp seem to be mature, loyal and dependable. Of course, anything could happen in the years ahead. Arnie was older than Pitt and Depp when he started cheating with Baena. Mel was older, too, when he decided it would be a great idea to ditch his wife and kids and impregnate his mistress.

Pitt and Depp may follow Arnie's course of action in their fifties - or, like Michael Douglas, they may grow wiser as they grow older.

If you saw Mel Gibson in the excellent Oscar winning movie "Braveheart", you may remember the line when a local Scottish nationalist reminds Mel's character, William Wallace, that his father was a great man.

Mel replies, in a slightly admonishing tone: "I know who my father was."

It's a great film moment. The line is filled with self-confidence and wisdom - and pride in the man his father was.

What a terrible pity that Mel and Arnie's kids, when they say they know who their father is, cannot any longer have the same pride in their dads.