No More Yelling: Parenting Tricks from a Teacher

As an art teacher, I am used to managing not just a roomful of children, but a roomful of children with paintbrushes or fistfuls of clay. Like you, I am also a mom who knows how much of a struggle it can be to get out the door on time in the morning, and get my children to listen throughout the day. When I started implementing classroom management techniques in my home, things went much smoother. The following tried and true tips, or magic tricks, will help maintain control without resorting to yelling.

Clear instructions
My back-to-back classes require cooperation from the kids to get things put away properly on time, every time. Why then was it taking so long to get the same cooperation at home from my own children? The difference it seems is in both the instructions and the follow-through. Let them know what needs to be done without a lot of unnecessary words.

Follow-through
In class, I do not negotiate with my students, when it is time to work, we work. Unfortunately, as parents tend to negotiate and let the kids change the rules. Sometimes it is more convenient to let them play rather than follow-up on homework, but if you want smoother transitions than you must follow-through every time. Your children will stop testing once they realize you mean business.

Say it with a smile!
Another simple trick that does wonders, is to smile. I love teaching and I love being a mom, but I found my happy face was often reserved for strangers. Sometimes all it takes to change your mood is to lift the corners of your mouth. Kids will imitate what they see the most, so if you want your children to "whistle while they work," give them a good example to follow.

Chart it
Classroom teachers often have charts on the wall to mark achievements. Hang a simple chart on the fridge to check off completed tasks or to issue gold stars. My oldest thrived on stars at home, but his younger sister and brother were not as impressed. They needed a slightly different strategy. Instead of simply getting a star for a job well done, I used a timer for particularly challenging chores. For example, my daughter had a tendency to get sidetracked while cleaning her room, or even loading the dishwasher. When I started timing her, she would stay focused in an attempt to beat her own or her brothers time.

Change your voice
Instead of sounding like the adults on Charlie Brown specials, change your tone. There are three main ways to do this. First, keep your instructions short, almost like you would in dog training. Issue command, repeat if necessary. Once they start moving in the right direction, you can be chatty again, but giving a list of reasons and explanations up front tends to backfire. Another way to change your voice is to suddenly burst into song. Using a sing song voice is useful in preschool classrooms for good reason. Try it at home and see. Next time you need something done, use a sing song voice and see the reaction you get. Finally, try whispering. Instead of raising your voice, speak softer than usual.

Sometimes all it takes is a small change in your approach to see a big difference in your home. Classroom management techniques are not just useful in the classroom, they can work like magic with one or two children as well.

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