No One Deserves to Be Bullied

Have you ever felt what it's like to be bullied? Have you ever bullied someone? Most of us can probably answer "yes to at least one of those questions. Remember the proverb, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?" Experts realize that there are long-term psychological behavioral and physical health effects as a result of being bullied. Bullying is a widespread problem that has a huge impact on a person's life.

Bullying can happen anywhere that people interact; at home, school, work, and even the internet. In fact it is so pervasive that there is a new terminology, 'Bullycide' are suicides or homicides that have resulted from bullying. 'Cyberbullies' are able to harass their victims using cell phones, text messaging and email. There are many attempts to make people aware of the problem and prevent bullying, including Anti-bullying Week, books, documentaries, and videos.

The following are examples of typical situations where bullying might occur.

At school - classmates, teachers, coaches

At home - parents, partners, children, siblings

At work - managers, co-workers, customers

The internet - peers, classmates

The armed forces - peers, superiors

Hospitals and nursing homes - caregiversBullying is the repeated deliberate mistreatment of a person by one or more people. There are two major categories of bullying: Direct (physical) and indirect (verbal, emotional, and social isolation). It's an abuse of power that often leaves the victim blaming him or herself. Bullying is a very common occurrence. Almost 50% of children say they are victims of bullying.

Some examples of bullying are teasing and name calling, mocking, spreading rumors about a person, threatening someone of physically harming them, damaging their belongings, demanding favors money or objects from them, and leaving them out of group activities.

A bully is usually charming in public but cruel in private. They also have manipulative behavior. They deny everything when confronted about their behavior. What most people don't know about the bully is that they most likely have low self esteem about themselves. They need to make themselves feel better by putting others down.

Schools and Organizations need to recognize the problem, define what bullying is, have a clear policy in effect to prevent it, and enforce the policy.

It doesn't work at all to just ignore the problem or to tell the victim to deal with it on their own.

On February 7^th, the Iowa House voted 62-37 to approve a bill (SF 61) to stop bullying in elementary and secondary schools. An amendment prohibiting bulling via cell phone email or the internet was also approved, and the bill now returns to the Senate. The legislation is designed to ensure that all children are protected from bullying and includes the language about specific groups that have historically been targeted.

"Trait or characteristic of the student that includes but is not limited to age, color, creed, national origin, race, religion, marital status, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, physical attributes, physical or mental ability, or disability, ancestry, political party preference, socioeconomic status, or familial status."

What can be dome to prevent bullying? Education and training will help. A sensitivity session which high school bullies and victims attend together. They all stood on one side of the room while a list of different types of bullying was read. (For example, "I have been bullied because of my race." "I have been bullied because of my physical attributes." "I have been bullied because of my sexual orientation." etc.) After a statement is read that they relate to, the bully or victim crosses the line. This continues until every person has stepped across the line. Afterwards the bully can realize that they have a lot in common with their victims and understand how their behavior is affecting other people.

The effects of bullying are long term. Usually the incidents seem insignificant at the time but the overall effect is overwhelming. Bullying can cause stress-related illnesses that might lead to suicide for the victim or even the bully. It's been widely documented that post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can result from a single life threatening traumatic incident.

Results from bullying can cause sleep disturbances, phobias, irritability, social anxiety, and depression. In the most extreme cases victims seek revenge by killing their bullies.

Schools and places of business, and other areas where bullying occur, should acknowledge the problem; define bullying and the consequences, and offer education and training.

Ultimately, a huge component for preventing bullying is education. We need to endorse programs that teach tolerance, acceptance, and respect. Let's embrace our differences so each of us can thrive in a positive, supportive environment where bullying isn't tolerated. We need to work together to create a friendly society where character matters.