No School Today?

If any of you who read this have ever been pregnant you might have experienced boundary disordered people who due to brain stem injury, lack of oxygen or IQ points equal to the amount of times the Cubs have won the pennant think it is within reason to touch your protruding stomach or pepper you with questions in a manner more suited to maceing a mugger. When are you due? Do you know if it is a boy or girl? Do you want a boy or girl? Unless you are using their DNA or they are an OB/GYN how could they possibly think it is any of their business? Once I was done having children I thought this annoyance was a thing of the past, thankfully never to be revisited.

Then I began homeschooling. Who knew there were so many educationally inquisitive store clerks?! My children and I simply cannot experience an outing without someone questioning why they are not in school. Granted it does not take a great amount of physical energy to answer a question or two (or three, sometimes four!) but it does require more patience than I seem to have to keep answering the same questions when really it is no one's business why I homeschool. Whether we are getting an oil change, buying shoes, grocery shopping people feel compelled to question us. Not a simple exchange such as ''No school today?"

''No, we homeschool."

"Oh, very nice. Have a good day."

I could handle that.

Perhaps I am still in a snit because the education specialist masquerading as a store clerk at the Fareway today practically grilled my six year old and even had the audacity to ask if she had done any school work today. Thankfully I am not prone to violence but if I was it could easily fulfill a Health/PE requirement for my children to learn First Aid and tend to the people I wallop when they ask me stupid questions.

I could make a badge that says ''Homeschool Field Trip" or get a t shirt made that says '' Tell me your weight and I will tell you why I homeschool'' but that would only be effective on some of the offenders.

If I was the first homeschooler to grace the face of the Earth I could understand but there are approximately two million homeschooled children in America surely others must have heard of this phenomena before.

Meanwhile I will hold my breath and count to ten next time we are asked "No school today?"