No Self Defense Laws in Maryland Leave Residents Vulnerable

It's a lovely day in Maryland, in fact the skies are blue and there's a light fragrant breeze in the air. You've just moved to this lovely state although you didn't move here by choice. Your husband was laid off at his last job in another state where the both of you lived with your beautiful children and your cute little dog fondly named fluffy. You've try to make the best of it and decide that today you are going to go on a nature walk with fluffy. The kids are in school and you're well on your way to a magnificent day enjoying the springtime flora and the twittering birds.

You start your walk off with a few safety reminders to yourself about how you can protect yourself if something were to ever happen (which in the past never did and why on earth would it happen on such a lovely day...who would even think that, some negative person I suppose) while you took a walk and enjoyed life. So, you ponder these thoughts rather quickly but you think efficiently enough to start on your lovely walk. (After all, you took Karate class with your husband and even got to a black belt! Who would have ever guessed!).

The walk starts off beautifully. The air has a crispness about it, very low humidity and you can hear the forest creatures scittering about in the woods. The leaves of the winter still lying on the ground provides that wonderful sound as the air lifts them up and then tosses them about in the early spring morning breeze. Suddenly, though, you're feeling kind of funny. It's probably nothing, you're probably just being a little paranoid. After all, you've just moved to a new place and you're unaware
of all the sights and sounds this place makes. You're not used to it yet, you say to yourself and you continue to walk.

Just up around the bend you see a strange man just kind of leaning against a tree. He doesn't even have on the right attire for a walk in the park but perhaps they dress a little differently here you surmise. He's wearing a very large black overcoat and some pretty big black boots though so you're pretty weary about now. As you get closer with fluffy, you notice that big bulge on the right side of his jacket and instantly know what's about to go down.

Just then, he turns around and meets you eye to eye. You let go a scream so loud and shrill you think that should do the trick and he should be running in the opposite direction, after all, someone should have heard that and be coming to her aid. But wait, you know you're in the middle of the damned woods with only that ridiculous little cannister of mase which is in your jogging pouch. What are you supposed to do now, tell the guy, "Uh, excuse me Mr. Big Bad Ass with the black overcoat and the big bulge which is probably a rifle, was wondering if you could excuse me for a moment while I reach into my little dainty pink jogging pack to pull out the mase I want to spray directly into your eyes so you can't see me or catch me?" Seriously.

It's too late anyway, he's pulled out that big thing and is pointing it in your direction. Afraid for fluffy, you let her go...she should be able to find her way back to the house and if not, she has been tagged (unlike you who does not have a little identification chip, you know in case this guy goes totally ballistic and decides to kill you after he's had his way with you!).

It's nothing like class, you know the whole Karate thing. I mean, sure it works a little and you try a few moves on the guy but hey...he's got a gun remember? Karate ain't gonna do the trick here. So, after a few rounds with the guy, he's got your clothes off, his clothes off and he's having a helluva time with you right there in the middle of the Maryland woods...oh yeah...didn't I mention this is in Maryland! So, after the guys done you know doing his "thing", you notice for a brief moment his gun is loaded and ready to go and the idiot left it right there while he is getting dressed! What are ya gonna do? You pick it up, aim it at the miserable bastard and shoot him in the friggin kneecap...bam...he goes down like a fallen weather balloon and you're getting dressed and outta there!

So, after the cops are called and statements made and on and on and on I go. The police decide it's you they are going to arrest! Evidently, the rapist is having a bit of a time in the operating room, he's lost a lot of blood and they don't know whether or not he's gonig to make it! So, here you are, you've been raped, and you're on your way to prison baby...why is that you ask? Oh, well maam, we don't write the laws...we just enforce them. Is that right, you ask? Well, what about me? Well, what about you, the officer wants to know. You don't have any rights if you're a victim in Maryland! There's a no defense law! That's right peeps, there is and there's about 8 or 9 other God forsaken states with the same damned friggin law!

Now, unless I'm a total idiot or I'm just not reading this particular law right, this law the way I see it, indicates that a criminal can sue its victim for "anything"! I think that really sucks!

By the way, in the end...fluffy was fine, he was found via his identification chip...go figure. The perp is doing well...if you really care to know...he's living la vida loca on the money he used to sue the crap out of you because you busted his kneecap (never mind your torn vagina...it's his word against yours ya know!)...and you?
Well, you're having more fun than John Wayne Gacy in a clown suit at a carnival...you're in prison, for a very very long time might I add.

There's your friggin justice Marylanders!