No Sex Drive? You, Too, May Be a Victim of Female Circumcision

I had come home that day with a worried frown. You'd have been worried too if you were in my shoes. What would you do or how would you feel if the light of your heart suddenly tells you, you're bad news in bed? Yea…hum.just as I thought! Guess you now understand my plight! I didn't want to lose him. He complained that I always lay like a log of wood in bed during bedmatics! Said he does the entire tasking job. For crying out loud! What the heck did he expect me to do? Slap his heaving buttocks and cheer him on with go! Go! Champion? To be candid, I dreaded copulation back then. You don't believe it? Better do dear. I'd rather have a relationship devoid of sex. I must add that I wouldn't mind having foreplay million times over as long as the sex is overlooked.

But tell me, how many brothers could be that kind hearted? None! Frankly, sex bored me back then. It was so painful! When he complained, my heart skipped a beat as I had visions of him chasing other ladies just too willing to replace me. Incidentally, that same day at the office, I had over heard my boss discussing with his friends how some babes disappoint in bed by lying with legs spread wide, looking at their guys as if he was an apparition straight out from an Indian film while he thrusts and heave like a wrestler in a final championship fight. No! no! I was not eaves-dropping! What do you take me for, an Amebo?…never mind!…Their summation was that such babes were predominantly white! According to them, it was the after effect of circumcision.

So there I was, a white lady, whose idiotic grin after lovemaking had not fooled my guy that I enjoyed it. He saw through my bared fang as I bore the unpleasantness of it all.

So looking worried, I stormed into my home. I wanted to get mother's attention, but she ignored me. I refused to be ignored! I banged cupboards loudly but she calmly kept reading her Bible. With the intense concentration she was giving the Bible, I feared her eyes might bore a hole through it. Her left eyeglasses had for long emancipated itself from the frame. Mother was left with only the right glass to read with. As she raised her eyes, the glass made the eye looked like those of an owl. I would have laughed if not that I wanted to blame somebody, for something. Mother was handy. Since she had chosen to treat me like a pest, I blurted: "Mama, why did you people circumcise me! I don't like sex and it's because of it!"

If I was hoping to shock mother because of her stuffy old school ideas, I was mistaken. She told me gravely that it was the fault of the mid-wife that mistakenly chopped of my entire poor clitoris! Mother remembered how they had argued and debated about the shoddy job the mid-wife did. What a wicked woman she must have been! I'd later asked my elder sister, Pat, if she had ever really enjoyed sex or just went through the motions. She looked at me as if I had gone mad and walked out on me. I don't know her problem. Always prim and proper about intimate discussions.

You'd think she had never seen a guy's one-eyed snake from the airs she puts on. Perhaps her mid-wife left enough for her to enjoy sex. I now know why my friends talk of going for four rounds and I dread more than one…even till dates…
I had foolishly thought I couldn't have an orgasm, which of course is the basic rule of sexual enjoyment, but I was wrong! When I was finally touched at the right places and at the right time, I felt invisible wings taking to the pinnacle of the galaxy of stars! I had come down to earth, panting with one of those stars in my eyes. Orgasm was the bomb!

One thing I noticed, was the patience he took in waking up those supposed dead hormones in my body. All this while, I had blamed mother and her silly mid-wife, unaware my guy had been more concern for his selfish pleasures. We are in a world were men are always fortunate. Circumcised or not, they have their sexual release and enjoyment, irrespective of whether the hole is willing or indifferent. Thank God that many have now realised that it is more fun to share sex than have it willy-nilly.

I can never understand the logic in circumcision. The disadvantage far outweighs the advantage, if any. People, especially Africans, do it to make sure the girl does not grow up to become promiscuous, but what good had it done so far? Don't we still have local champion promiscuous ladies, who were circumcised? I could understand men being circumcised, I mean, I doubt if many ladies would want to give a blow job to a manhood covered with some suspicious looking skin. Please don't get me wrong if you have that kind of manhood! I'm not criticising you, far from it. I'm simply saying…shit, I don't even know what the heck I was trying to say! …anyway, I guess it would be as enjoyable as the circumcised one.

Female Genital mutilation (FGM), a better euphemism for female circumcision, is a destructive procedure performed on girls. Part or all of the entire clitoris is surgically removed. Like mine! This leaves them with reduced or no sexual feelings. Unlike mine! I feel millions of sensation, believe me. Orgasm is sometimes impossible to experience later in life. Many health problems result from the surgery. In African, I hear it is more of a cultural practice than religious. It is done often without anesthesia. Razor blades, knives or scissors are usually used often without sterilisation. Side effect of circumcision can include, hemorrhage, shock, painful scars etc. it could also cause sterility, sexual dysfunction, depression and various gynaecological and obstetric problems.

I guess this practice continues to thrive because people say parents demand it, doctor's profit by it and babies of course cannot complain! My friends from the Isoko speaking part of the country told me that in their culture, the lady is circumcised when she gets pregnant. Ostensibly to stop her chasing other sugar sticks after marriage. Has it really achieved that purpose? I don't think so! It is only silly men who go for circumcised ladies on the grounds that they are wont to be faithful. How naïve can one be? Infidelity is of the mind not the warm crevice of a woman. My pal has told me that she'd rather die than undergo the torture of circumcision when she becomes pregnant. I heartily seconded her feelings.

I was speaking to a doctor friend of mine, Dr. Rex on this issue of circumcision. But of course I was more concern with the negative effect it might have on sexual pleasures. He told me that it does not stop one from attaining orgasm but does indeed reduced sexual arousal. He said: "an uncircumcised lady is likely to be aroused quicker than the circumcised one. She is also likely to have an orgasm quicker and more frequent than the uncircumcised. After circumcision, the person could be prone to infection. She could also have excessive bleeding. Some of them experience this feeling of psychological defeat….". Aha! Amen, to the fact that one can still experience sexual pleasures. The Aha is the psychological defeat. During those school days, being girls, we used to sit naked to eat. It didn't take me long to notice that I was the odd person out. I knew how I felt when my friends talked of four rounds of sex with their guys and I could only have the stamina for one. Poor me! a lot of times, I've wished I could be like them. Sexy, horny and ready to go on a roller coaster ride! I was shocked when Rex told me that some men disliked circumcised females because they believe they are too tame in bed. Am I really tame in bed?…. Hummm…what about you? Are you circumcised…yes? Good…are you tame or hot in bed. Does your being circumcised affect your display in bed? I will answer my own question as soon as you over there answer yours.

The good doctor also told me that for a circumcised male is more ready to flip out his manhood anywhere because he would be very proud of it than an uncircumcised one. The latter feels self conscious about the enclosed skin especially since majorities of men are circumcised. Is that right? But I'm not sure. I wonder if those sharp corner ladies charge extra money from uncircumcised male. Please do kindly let me know if you find out. But one thing I can still vividly remember is Rex telling me that the sexual pleasures that swim through the glands of men as tension heightens to screaming point does not differ from the circumcised or uncircumcised male.