No Show

I scratch my head
underneath the stars
and wonder where
on earth you are
and why you did not
show up when I did
so I wouldn't have to
keep my feelings hid.
I was excited all day.
My heart was racing,
thinking about
the thing I was facing.
I wanted to talk
I wanted to tell
about me falling in love,
and how hard I fell.
But I was let down,
because you were not there
to hear this and other things
that I wanted to share.
I wanted to be honest
to unload it all,
but, sometimes I feel like
I beat my head against walls.
When I want stuff to happen,
everything goes so slow.
Maybe, you'll tell me
why you were a no show.

See page 2, if you are reading, which you are.

*If you are reading this, which, I'm sure you are, I am glad, in a way, to know that I am no longer the chicken in this situation. I don't know the reason for your absence, who knows, maybe you weren't feeling well. But I think you should know that I'm a little sad and a little discouraged that I was not given the chance to do what I wanted to do. And I think you should also know, that I was planning on telling you about something, that, if I were a different person, and the situation was different, and if I did not love you as much as I do, and if I was not 100 percent sure of my feelings, something, maybe specifically and/or part of a bigger picture may possibly have stopped me or at least stalled me temporarily from doing what I was going to do. Because I wanted to be honest with you. And, I think it really says something, that, when it all boiled down to it, the thing that possibly could have stopped me, and other things that possibly could have stopped me, in fact did NOT stop me. All the things that the devil put in my head to make me question whether or not it has all been worth it to do what I was going to do, all those things added up, when it came down to a decision, did NOT make me decide not to do what I wanted to do. Because, the thing is, I knew in my heart, just like I pretty much have for a very long time now, and will always know in my heart, that truthfully, there's not much of a decision to make, there's really no contest. Maybe on another day, I'll be in the mood to write a poem explaining to you in more detail what I'm talking about, and the next time I see you, when I want to tell you certain things, I'm sure you'll get to hear of it, but, as for right now, I'm a little sad that I didnt get the chance, and am also a little discouraged at some things that have finally bubbled to the surface and are, at the moment, sticking in my craw. That's an awful feeling, you know. I'm sorry, but for now, I am in the mood to keep you guessing and questioning what I'm talking about. It's not that I want to confuse you or stress you out. I have no desire to do that, but momentarily, I don't feel that you deserve much of an explanation. Can you blame me? Sometimes I feel that others don't feel that I deserve an explanation for certain things. I sure hope I get to see you, the next time I'm supposed to see you. If I have to keep things inside me much longer, I may explode. Sweet dreams, or have a good day, depending on when you are reading this. :) *