Nobody Here Speaks English - Now What?

It is common knowledge that in most places you travel in this world, most people speak a little English. Mark that one up to The List of Myths. However, because of this theory, I went to São Paulo, Brazil for a long deserved vacation. I was armed with the following words in Portuguese: sim (yes), não (no), and obrigado (thank you). I felt this would suffice. I have learned in other travels that although not everyone would speak my mother tongue, there would be sufficient help near at hand. I was severely mistaken. In retrospect, had I decided to stay closer to the financial district, I might have had better luck conversing with those that had studied my language. Had I done that, my life now would be very different. My decision to save a few bucks on my hotel changed my life for the better even if I did not speak Portuguese.

My first day in Brazil I left my hotel to get some coffee and breakfast. Deciding to stop at the first little café I happened upon. I strolled up to the counter, and said very clearly and slowly, "Coffee please." I was met by a blank stare. This was not good. Luckily near me was another man drinking his glass of coffee. Yes, in São Paulo they drink their coffee out of little glasses. So, I pointed at the gentleman's beverage, smiled and help up my index finger to indicate "one". I was victorious! I had my morning coffee. However, I was beginning to notice a pattern, other that the hotel desk, nobody spoke English. I was not adverse to learning Portuguese, but how much I could learn before lunch? Soon I would be getting hungry!

I began to notice another thing about these Brazilians, I had never found such an overall desire to help me in my ignorance. Almost to a person they tried to teach a new word or two to me. Failing that, they did their best to understand my meaning. If needed a person might leave to retrieve a friend who knew some English. In most of these cases, I did not have the heart to tell them I could not understand a word. I just pretended to understand and then complemented them on their fine English skills.

It was on one of these occasions that one of my new assistant/friends escorted me to a little nightclub. As we arrived, I noticed one of the waitresses. It was one of those moments that in your mind you see a fuzzy halo around her face and imagine a chorus of angels singing. By God, she was beautiful! She was also out of my league so I comforted myself with a beer or two. The evening progressed, and on occasion I would sneak a look at this angel on earth. From time to time, she caught me looking, and gave me a little smile. I knew this was a polite businesslike smile directed towards me the customer, and nothing more. After a time she brought us another round of drinks, and she began talking to my friend. With the music and the other small problem in that I did not understand Portuguese; I had no clue of what they spoke. I was certain of one thing; they seemed to be discussing me. Again, I was sure that I was a curiosity and nothing more. It must have been interesting to a gorgeous waitress that I was an American, and possibly the first one she had met. Then something amazing happened... She handed me a little slip of paper with her telephone number on it. I was stunned.

It is a year and a half later now, and the Brazilian waitress is my fiancée. She still is not working too hard on her English, but my Portuguese has certainly improved. Our first few dates consisted of pushing a Portuguese/English dictionary between each other, and trying to make jokes neither of us understood. I would not trade those first few confusing and uncomfortable days in São Paulo for anything this word can offer.

I know two things now. If I am ever afraid of being in a place or a situation that is uncomfortable and new, or even a little dangerous, all I need to do is stay home and sit on my couch and nothing will happen. The other thing I learned is that is I stay home and sit on my couch, nothing will happen.