Not Another American Political Parties List

America is changing, alright, just not always for the better. We all know about the traditional political parties available. There's the "Grand Old Party," or G.O.P. Which houses those folks called Republicans. There's the Democrat Party, also known as the D.N.C. Once in a while someone even recognizes The Libertarian Party. And lately, there has been a lot of coverage of a group of activists who refer to themselves as The Tea Party, which isn't really a political party at all, but rather a feeding ground for both Democrat parasites and Republican blood-suckers alike. I've even heard of a new phenomena referred to as The Coffee Party Convention. I did not make this last part up. Here's the result of an online search for the term.

But I'm not satisfied. Here, in the Land of the Free, and Home of the Brave, we're more concerned about diversity, and protecting people's right to not being offended. That Free and Brave bit doesn't fit so well into our plans anymore. So, in the interest of equal opportunity, and being politically correct, I'm here to share with my readers, a few more political parties that should guarantee we all have equal representation in the insanity.

Not another American political parties list- The Pajama Party
For those of us who don't mind "waking up" but still aren't quite ready to begin our day, allow me to introduce The Pajama Party. Sure, it's the Dawning of a new age here in the USA, but with no job to get to, why get dressed? This group is easily recognized by unshaven faces and frizzy hair without make-up.

Not another American political parties list- The Pool Party
This group is for those who want to be politically active, but are still wet behind the ears. There is to be no running near the pool allowed. This is for your own safety. Remember to wait at least thirty minutes after you eat before joining. You must be this tall to go into the deep end.

Not another American political party list- The Keg Party
Here's where drunken, pimple-faced, spoiled-rotten-because-they-have-a-trust-fund frat boys find representation. Don't bother trying to join up anytime before 11 a.m., because nobody is even awake that early, dude. But they are looking for a dependable housekeeper who doesn't mind cleaning up vomit at minimum wage.

Not another American political parties list- The Tupperware Party
For those who dream of building a secure financial future, love get togethers with friends, and giggle when inanimate objects burp while being closed during a product demonstration, this ideological organization is for you. The only requirement is just $69.95 for your kit. Anyone can be politically active here.

Not another American political parties list- The Pity Party
If you're feeling bad, and no amount of suggestions or solutions are ever good enough for you, then maybe the pity party is your best bet. Their anthem is "Bridge Over Troubled Water" by Simon and Garfunkel. They're easy to join but hard to put up with.

Not another American political parties list- The Costume Party
For those who don't mind taking a stand, but do not want to be recognized, there's this affiliation. It's also a good chance to get kissed by mysterious strangers. To join, you must RSVP by this Thursday. A gift is optional, and there will be a door prize given away after each convention, so keep your ticket-stubs handed out earlier by Earline and Velma.

Not another American political parties list- The Retirement Party
Here's an affiliation I'd like to recommend for out-moded ideas as well as old-fashioned politicians of every stripe. If you're still wishing it was 1952 and feel thoroughly confused by those interwebs thingys, feel free to sign up where it's just not funny anymore.

We're all too reliant on hoping for some sort of magic bullet that will make government work "right." Instead of hoping for an incorruptible leader of some sort, let's just accept that, our government is comprised of flawed humans, and we all do the difficult task of holding their feet to the fire for their decisions which affect us. No more will I ever show a politician "respect" for the sake of their position. They're just people. We must make them answer to us, whether they like it or not.

Source:
Are you serious? I just made this crap up.