Not Caring About Results

There is an interesting paradox that this author has observed; the more one cares about the outcome, the more it tends to result negatively. The less one cares about the outcome, the more it results positively. Whether as a psychological phenomena or an actual, empirical tendency, separating oneself emotionally from the outcome of an action usually yields better results.

Whether it's applying for a job, pursuing a romantic interest, playing sports or nearly anything else, this tendency is observable. It is only in the movies that the highly emotional, highly involved person usually accomplishes what he sets out to do. If it happens in real life, it is only because of either luck or better than average ability that the person overcomes, or because the successful person has managed to control his emotions and follow the directions of his mind.

To figure out why this happens, one can again turn to that old standby - observation of human psychology.

When people care deeply about their results, they tend to get involved emotionally. Their passions get the better of their reason, and they act more according to the dictates of their emotion and not of their intellect. Passion has a way of clouding judgment, fooling the person into thinking that an action is appropriate, when it often is not.

In this condition, the reasonable thing to do, the one that is intellectually correct, is sacrificed for what feels emotionally correct, what 'feels good.'

While it is heartwarming to think that our emotions and our instincts will always lead us to the 'right' direction, this is most often not the case. Emotions fuel the person; as such, they only lead the person forward, regardless of the implications of going forward. They push people, often to disadvantageous positions. It is up to the intellect to decide how best to satisfy the emotion, whether to wait, to flank or to change directions.

When one follows one's emotions in pursuit of a goal, one actually becomes short sighted, wishing only to alleviate the present ill-feelings and sacrificing the long-term satisfaction of the original goal.

It is in this tendency to feel emotional over an action and the outcome one wants from it that often creates negative results. Emotions are good; they propel people to action, they motivate. However, emotions cannot decide the actions we take. One must always remember that the brain is above the heart for a certain reason - that it has to be the ultimate arbiter of our decisions.