Not Home for the Holidays: A Soldier's Story

The holidays can be the most exciting time of the year. The expectation of joy and time spent with family perk up even the hardest of heart. Most people spend the year looking forward to this time of year.

Along with good food and wonderful gifts, spending time with family is an important part of the holiday season. Beginning with Thanksgiving and going through New Year's Day, this season is all about family. Missing those connections can cause the season to lose its flavor.

For some in the military, that is exactly what happens. Those stationed far from home, whether in war zones or not, miss that family connection. Many are experiencing this for the first time in their lives.

In 1984, I was in that very situation. I was a young man who had never had to experience a holiday season away from family. Often times, family members from some distance would make the journey to us, or we would journey to them. Yet, that year, the travel would not be available for me, as I was stationed across the ocean.

I never thought about how it would feel when I boarded the plane to head to Europe. I only thought about the adventure that awaited me so far from all I had known. As the season approached, though, it began to sink in that there was no family to spend time with.

As soldiers, we made the most of the situation. We would make plans to spend time with each other, even making special plans for certain days to share each other's traditions. We would wait for the mail to run, hoping for a gift from those back home who realized it would take longer to get that package so far from home. Occasionally, headquarters would send a runner to inform us of a phone call from home. Largely, though, contact with loved ones, those we had grown so used to, was limited.

Mom's turkey and dressing were among the best meals she prepared each year. On both Thanksgiving and Christmas Day's, the smell of those meals being prepared would fill the house for most of the day. They would encircle the family as we watched parades, football games, or opened gifts. The trip through the Army chow line did not hold the same excitement.

After I returned, I was able to sit down with those family members at the next holiday season. I learned that for them, as well, the holidays had lost some of their excitement. Just as I felt as though a part of me was missing during that season, they had experienced the same feeling. That wholeness caused the holiday to lose some of its joy.

Ultimately, we all survived the experience. We most likely even grew through it. We certainly learned not to take one another for granted.