Not Your Mama's Mashed Potatoes

After I wrote Scrub, Wash, Peel, Rinse, Slice, Boil, Drain, Mash many people wrote to say they love mashed potatoes but hate the aggravation of making them. I kind of plugged Ore Ida in the last piece but there really is a better way without paying more for convenience. Here it is:

I start with the biggest potatoes I can find. I'm partial to the giant restaurant size available at the warehouse club. I know they're baking potatoes not mashing potatoes. What will our mother's and grandmother's think? Didn't they teach us there are two kinds of potatoes? What a load of fertilizer that is! Po-TATE-o, Po-TOT-o I say. Even though this way is less mess I still want to deal with as few tubers as possible, that means giant bakers! I defy you to taste the difference!

You still have to wash them but you don't need to scrub the skin off. Cut a 3" slit in the top through half the thickness and wrap them in paper towel. They don't have to be neat packages; they aren't presents! The paper towel absorbs the water steamed out during microwaving preventing the carousel tray from becoming a swimming pool. And yes, for the eco friendly, you can just drop them on a plate naked and tip the water off afterwards.

People have been nuking baked potatoes for decades because it's a huge time saver and... Surprise! They still taste just like potatoes. If you're making baked potatoes you're not cooking them long enough to make mashed potatoes. In general I have found you need 25% more cooking time. Size does matter; your cooking time depends on it. The microwave preset is for normal sized baked potatoes; the jumbo mashed potatoes take about 50% longer (i.e. if you make four you cook them long enough for six). Covering them or not doesn't really matter but I find they are ready a few minutes sooner if I use a plastic anti-splatter lid.

They are done when you notice SHRINKAGE. Don't be alarmed! Shrinkage in this instance is perfection. It means you've evaporated the water out of the potato causing it to shrink away from the skin! I let the spuds sit for a few minutes so the skin will really separate and be cool enough to touch. Wrinkles mean you've done it right and if not you can always radiate them for a few more minutes.

After a few minutes you'll be able to touch the skin. Remember the water inside the potato is super heated and will escape as steam as soon as you give it an opening to do so. Be prepared to pull back! I start "peeling" by pinching a wrinkle and pulling it away from the potato. The result is usually a large sheet of peel rolling off. I keep grabbing wrinkles until the skin is vanquished. You can cut the potato in half and/or use utensils if you like but I find getting my mitts on it is easiest.

Drop the peeled potatoes in a bowl (I prefer Pyrex) with a stick of butter and some cream (any weight will do). You'll be hard pressed to make soup out of these because you've extracted so much water in the cooking process they're practically dehydrated! If you think you've over done it with the liquids wait a minute and stir them again. You'll see they are fine. I use a serving fork to break them down a bit usually leaving them chunky and no one minds. A little seasoning and you've got roasted mashed potatoes more flavorful than the boiled ones and a lot less mess too!

For added sweetness leave the potatoes in the refrigerator for a few weeks. The starch will begin to breakdown into sugar.