Not Ready
You're not even gone yet
But I feel the emptiness already
I don't feel like trying to write beautifully
I feel devastated
Hospice...
I wish there was a way to make this all easier
To make the pain go away
Is he scared because I am
I'm terrified
It has always been that grandpa's sick
He has type one diabetes
He's blind
He had a kidney transplant when I was really young
But he always made it through
Usually with a joke and a laugh
My hero
Conquers everything and keeps going
Keeps selling canoes
Answering phones and emails
Being an outfitter
An owner of a business
A teacher
He's ready
Ready to be done with this disease
He's at peace with everything
But I'm not
I see people everyday at my work
With their minds gone from Alzheimer's and dementia
They live on and on
My grandpa still helps me with my college science terms
I'm not ready for this
I'm not ready for the end
I know he suffers
But I'm just not ready for grandpa to be gone
I'm selfish.
Published by Casey
I'm 24 years old, I live with my fiance, Jake and our two dogs Lakota and Katie. I'm a full time union laborer and working, fishing and hunting every spare moment. View profile
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1 Comments
Post a CommentThere is certainly nothing wrong with the way you feel. Good job expressing and sharing your emotions. Many people feel this way and feel guilty, but by sharing this we discover there are so many others out there that we don't need to feel guilty, but normal.