Not the "Right" Time in Your Life for a New Baby?

Let's just say that when I think about the beginning of my second pregnancy, I'm not exactly filled with a warm, fuzzy feeling.

My husband and I had just moved from Madison, Wisconsin, to northern Minnesota, when I found out I was expecting our daughter. Part of our purpose in moving was to care for my grandmother, who was dying of ovarian cancer. We were living with my mother. My husband was in between jobs. We had no health insurance, and I was nauseated all day, every day. The last thing on my "to do" list was to get pregnant! When the second line appeared on the pregnancy test, I cried. I had so many feelings I couldn't put into words at the time. Uncertainty, anger, worry and confusion clouded my perspective. Would my husband be happy? Would he find a job soon that had insurance? Would pregnancy be a "pre-existing" condition and keep us from qualifying? How would we do it financially?

I took a couple of days to digest the information. I thought back to when my son was a baby. I remembered how wonderful it felt to have a new life growing inside of me. I remembered how thrilled my husband was when he was born. I reflected on times in the past when our financial obligations seemed impossible and how things had always "worked out".

Within a week I had come to terms with the idea of having another baby, even though I didn't have all of the answers. My husband, who I thought would be leery about the implications of another baby, was thrilled and excited. It certainly wasn't an easy road from then on, but within a couple of months my we had a good job, we had an offer pending on a house and the skies were looking brighter.

The best advice I can give anyone with an unexpected, even undesired pregnancy is to try and keep perspective. If you've just found out you are pregnant, you have about eight months to get ready for your baby. If you are financially strapped, begin now to save and cut back in other areas to provide extra funds for baby. Research and consider breastfeeding, which will reduce your baby budget by over $100/month, besides all of the wonderful benefits for you and your baby. Last, but not least, talk to someone about how you're feeling. It is healthy for you to confide your fears to your husband or mother or friend. The support they offer you will be invaluable!