Nudist Tails

Recently in the news there have been a couple of different stories about nudists. In one article a nudist resort in Connecticut offered a free "college" day to entice young people to visit and see if they were interested in the nudist lifestyle. They also offered reduced yearly rates to college students and people in their 20's and 30's. Apparently they're worried about the longevity of their lifestyle because America's youth has little or no interest in nudist resorts.

I hate to break it to the nudists who would like to infuse their resorts with some youth, but, well, frankly you're boring. Young people these days are used to a lot more excitement than sitting around with naked old folks and maybe spiking a few rounds of volleyball or taking a hike through the woods (think poison ivy.) They want copious amounts of alcohol, sex, and reality TV. There's just not enough drama at these nudist resorts. Nudists say that they like to get naked because they want to be in their "natural" state and that it's relaxing and comfortable. Well, college kids like to get naked for a reason. That reason is because they're drunk and want to have sex until American Idol is on. So unless you convince your kids and grandchildren at an early age that nudity is cool, they're probably a lost cause by the college years.

The other news item was that Brattleboro, VT has no law against public nudity. Now that spring is in the air the nudists begin to parade around downtown at random times. Some townspeople really don't care but quite a few are bothered. They feel it's inappropriate and will drive family tourism away if these people keep "popping" up around town. They are logging complaints in the hope that with enough community support they can change the law.

In Brattleboro a woman says she saw her first "naked person of the spring," an elderly man parading up and down the main avenue. Frankly it sounds like one of my nightmares where I'm forced to walk through the halls of my old high school completely naked. Why would anyone want to walk through town naked? I'm all for nudity where there's other naked people or in my own house. I draw the line at walking into Starbucks in the buff and everyone else dressed. The Reverend Horion puts it most succinctly when he notes, "Nudists could pop up anywhere....we never know where they're going to strike." Well you will definitely notice when they pop up as opposed to people with clothes on, but where will they strike? I don't think most of them are into kinky stuff; they just don't like wearing clothes.