Number of Agnostic or Atheist Blacks Increases

There's word that a second season of "What Chilli Wants" will release soon. In the first season, viewers explored more than just dating. The topic of religion came up. Singer Chilli of TLC was thrown for a loop on Episode 7 "The Bread Incident" when her date Darren "Farmer D" said he was agnostic as a child. He claimed to be "spiritual" now, but you could see the discomfort in Chilli's face at the thought of dating someone who wasn't religious.

After tweeting the following "big up @officialchilli for not shutting down on Farmer [D] b/c he's atheist. People can be respectful of opposite religions w/o converting" from my Twitter account, Chilli responded to me by saying the following: "he believes n GOD..otherwise i would not talk to him."

Everyone has a right to date who they want to and not compromise their standards. But this episode brings up the question: Can two people with different opinions about religion work out in a relationship?

According to The Huffington Post, the number of African-Americans who are agnostic and atheist is growing. Between 1990 to 2008, the number of black non-believers went from 6 percent to 11 percent. The Huffington Post also reports, "Nearly eight in 10 African-Americans said religion is very important in their lives, compared with 56 percent of the general U.S. adult population." Chilli's religious dating preference is pretty easy to follow if she dates within the African-American community judging from these statistics.

According to a tweet Chilli sent to @sistersparkle, Farmer D went from atheist to Jewish. But what if he wasn't? Why is it out of the question to date someone of another religion and why was it necessary for Chilli to ask Farmer D would he convert?

In the interest of full disclosure, I'm agnostic. I grew up in a church and was baptized, but I was skeptical of all the information I was taught at an early age. However, pretty much everyone I've dated is Christian, one of which was so in touch with religion that he decided to be a Christian rapper. While some may believe that agnostic or atheist people are this cruel bunch who will somehow destroy the world, this simply isn't true. There are atheists who spend quite a bit of time trying to talk someone out of religion or making fun of religion (ex. Bill Maher in "Religulous" and on his HBO talk show "Real Time With Bill Maher). While I am a supporter of the show and movie, I am also just as likely to support my own father, who is a deacon, in his church activities. I saw him get ordained at a well-known Chicago church, attended a few church events, and hold hands during Thanksgiving, birthday and other random prayer moments.

While I have zero interest in prayer, those who are more tolerant of other's beliefs will find that not every agnostic or atheist is trying to talk you out of religion nor should you try to convert them. If that person respects you, your agnostic or atheist partner will try to make you feel as comfortable with your religion and hope you can be respectful of theirs even if you don't agree. As long as you practice your own religion and your partner respects you, there shouldn't be a problem. He (or she) has just as much right to not believe the same way you do to believe. For Chilli to be open-minded enough to date outside of her race but shut down on religion seems counterproductive.

Should people only date those who have similar religious views? Chilli picked Bill, who is religious, but do you think she got rid of Farmer D for that reason?

Additional Notes: This entry was originally published by the Chicago Relationships Examiner.