Nursing in Public is Not Offensive: One Mother's Perspective

Breastfeeding is a natural, nurturing act between mother and child. Yet many people find it offensive and disgusting to see a mother breastfeeding her child in a public setting. Mothers have been asked to leave malls and restaurants, buses, even airplanes because they were feeding their babies. But nursing in public is not offensive, no matter how many arguments you may have to the contrary. Here are some of the most common arguments against breastfeeding in public, and one mother's perspective on why those arguments just don't hold water.

Nobody wants to see that

So don't look. Only in America do we claim the right to not be offended. In most other cultures, if something is offensive to you, you are expected to simply look away. But here in America, we demand that society cater to our fragile egos. In other industrialized nations, the general consensus is that you do not have to look if you are offended. In America, the consensus is that I should be able to look at anything and not be offended, and if something offends me, you have to remove it from my sight. So selfish, we Americans.

And anyway, when was the last time you complained about a Victoria's Secret commercial or the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition? You see more of those women's breasts and bodies than you usually see from a breastfeeding mother, and yet nobody seems to have a problem with seeing women strutting in their lingerie on a commercial during their favorite family sitcom. Obviously, most people in this country have no problem with the female form portrayed in a sexualized manner. It's only when our breasts are used for their intended purpose that most people get offended.

Would you want to see me peeing on the sidewalk?

No. But it's hardly the same thing. Urine is full of germs and it smells bad. If I were to somehow come into contact with someone else's urine, I could get very ill. Nursing, on the other hand, is not germy, it doesn't smell bad, and even if I were to squirt breastmilk in your eye, you wouldn't get sick. Angry maybe, but not sick. Public urination has potential to actually affect the health and olfactory senses of others. Public breastfeeding does not. That's why public urination is illegal everywhere, and public breastfeeding is not only legal, but actually protected in many states and on all federal property.

Can't you just cover up?

Actually, no. I've tried. It doesn't work. Most babies don't like to have their faces covered, especially while nursing. Some babies are comfortable with it, but most babies aren't. When I try to cover up, my daughter kicks the blanket off, and if I hold it in place, she gets angry and refuses to nurse until I remove it. It's a security issue. A baby feels smothered when his head and face are covered by a blanket, and he can't see his mommy, which is frightening. Not only that, but it gets really hot under a nursing cover.

I have an experiment for anyone with a baby, or those who know someone with a small baby, who is bottle-fed. Hold the baby and give her a bottle, and then put a blanket over her head and the bottle so that nobody can see her eating. Chances are she'll kick that blanket off, and squirm and fuss until she can see what's going on around her. And if she doesn't, feel around under that blanket when she's done. You'll likely find her sweating. It's not comfortable. So if you wouldn't want to put your child through that, why would you expect me to do it to my child?

I have a son/husband/boyfriend and I don't want him seeing breasts everywhere

If you show a man a picture of a naked breast, he's likely to get excited. Show him that same breast being suckled by a baby, and he's likely to get very turned off. Breastfeeding is not a sexual act, and it's not arousing to most normal men. My husband thinks I'm pretty hot, but when I'm nursing our daughter, sex is the furthest thing from his mind. Not that he thinks it's disgusting, but it's just completely non-sexual.

And as far as your son goes, wouldn't you rather teach him to respect a woman's body in a non-sexual way than to teach him that breasts are dirty and sexual and good for no other purpose than to be ogled by men? I would. He doesn't have to learn to view women as sexual objects unless you teach him to think that way. He can learn to regard a woman's body in a beautiful, nurturing way. The same goes for your daughters. You don't have to teach her that a woman should be ashamed of her body. Instead, why not teach her all the beautiful things her body can do, including feeding her future children?

So the next time you see a mother nursing her child in public, don't say something rude or throw her dirty looks. She's not trying to offend you, she's not trying to make a statement - she's simply trying to feed her hungry child. And if you leave her alone, she'll be able to finish up more quickly anyway. If you are somehow offended by such a loving, nurturing act as a mother feeding her child, simply turn your head and look away.