Obama Plans to Name Clinton, Richardson to Cabinet

"There's an old saying in politics: keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer. Appointing Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State fits into the latter category."

That's the opinion of respected political analyst and best-selling author Jeremiah Wassah-Boolphrogg, the Executive Director of Exculpatory Evidence Research at the Ted Kennedy Automobile Buoyancy Evaluation Center.

"Senator Hillary Clinton would be just fine. She would always vote the party line, give a few interviews to voice her support of President Obama, and generally behave herself. But

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton would better because, one, it puts her in a cabinet post where he can keep an eye on her political ambitions and, two, if something happens to go to Hell in a hand-basket overseas he's got a high-profile scapegoat."

But he also believes that Senator Clinton may have her own plans if Obama can't deliver on his campaign promises.

"If Barak Obama believes the Hillary Clinton, as a Secretary of State that disagrees with him, is going to be a Colin Powell and simply resign he's making a big mistake. Hillary Clinton learned the art of carrying a grudge from a master of that art, who happens to be named Bill Clinton. And she hasn't forgotten that she was humiliated in primaries by Obama, either.

"When you put those two egos together, you had better believe that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts."

When asked to explain that assessment, Wassah-Boolphrogg refused to state specifics but instead offered only generalities.

"The only reason people go into politics is power, because that's what all politics boils down to: the acquisition or retention of personal political power and influence" he replied.

"Both Senator Clinton and her husband have tasted power, and that taste is addictive. Once you experience power, you want more of it. And Barak Obama had better keep that in mind."

Wassah-Boolphrogg was then asked to comment on the rumored appointment of New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson as the new Secretary of Commerce. Although he often interrupted himself with episodes of what appeared to be hysterical laughter, he offered a few impressions.

"Secretary of Commerce? The only two things that Bill Richardson knows about commerce are raising campaign funds and steering government contracts to whoever has been the most generous with the checkbook.

"Now here's a guy that was Bill Clinton's United Nations Ambassador but got himself demoted, for whatever reason, to Secretary of Energy. Now, let me ask you this. How hard is it to screw up as Secretary of Energy? It's pretty hard to do, just hold a few press conferences to please the tree huggers and then shut up, but Richardson found a way to do it with the Wen Ho Li fiasco.

"Naming Bill Richardson to be the Secretary of Commerce makes about as much sense as naming Al Capone to head the Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms Bureau over at the Treasury Department, or appointing Karl Marx to the Council of Economic Advisors" he said before collapsing from hyperventilation brought about by laughter.