Obama: Removing Hood Ornament Saves Billions More Barrels of Oil

August 08
Obama: Removing Hood Ornament Saves Billions More Barrels of Oil
August 08, 2008 10:11AM

Last week Sen. Barack Obama called on every American motorist to "check their tire pressure" in order to save up to 80 million barrels of oil a year. Since then the Obama team has been working overtime on finding other innovations designed to save gas and decrease dependence on foreign fuel.

In an interview which appeared yesterday in the "Helsinki Tattler, August 7th, 2008" Obama cites further ways to reduce U.S consumption of foreign oil. "It's so simple, I'm surprised nobody thought of it sooner" says the Senator, "just yankin' the hood ornament off every registered vehicle in America would add roughly 3-billion barrels of oil annually to the reserves--not to mention what it would do to help eliminate divisive class-envy so prevalent in the United States today."

Obama went on to say the wind resistance caused by hood ornaments is significant in some cases, "so much so it's enough to add five to seven miles per gallon to larger cars, trucks and SUV's that we shouldn't be driving anyway."

Critics questioned safety and were doubtful what effect, if any, under-inflated tires would have on the nation's oil consumption including one official from the U.S. Department of Transportation who was quoted as saying, "what's next, riding on the rims?"

At a rally in Illinois supporters lauded the idea of removing ornaments and re-distributing them--possibly as wind chimes--to low income families in large metropolitan areas. Reverend Jessie Jackson was among those present who favored the ornament re-distribution plan. During a press conference in Chicago, IL, Reverend Jackson visited the home of LaShequayah Richardson who, along with her 12 children, live in one of the city's housing projects. "Praise the Lord" said Richardson, "can you imagine how good we'd feel about ourselves watching a Mercedes "S" Class Ornament dangling from outside our [broken] window?"

Former Vice President Al Gore, also on hand for the rally, praised Obama and added "since inventing the internet I've been concentrating on solving global transportation problems" saying he was "very close" to perfecting time travel using matter/anti-matter technology.

Although hood ornament removal was the principal theme during today's interview, Obama said his staff was researching other ways to save fuel including an income-tax credit for keeping vehicles washed and waxed [estimated 6 million barrels of oil saved annually], exploring spinner-rim hybrid technology for perpetual motion, seeing what effect hood, trunk and hubcap removal might have on fuel economy, as well as sponsoring new legislation aimed at getting car thieves to pay for the gas they use before abandoning their vehicles.

Republican Presidential Candidate John McCain discounted the Obama plan as "frivolous" and said in the near future he would unveil an ambitious plan on the scale of depression-era reconstruction projects that involved paying unemployed men and women to push cars around our largest cities.

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