Obama State of the Union Drinking Games

In what seems like another lifetime ago, I wrote a satirical piece called The Sarah Palin Vice Presidential Debate Drinking Game, a humorous spoof that received, and continues to receive, more page views than almost any other piece I have ever written. Drinking games, it seems, are as American as crashing White House state dinners and pretending your son was abducted by a helium balloon. As I type this, many Americans are undoubtedly stocking their liquor cabinets and refrigerators for tonight in anticipation of playing one of the popular Obama State of the Union Drinking Games floating around cyberspace.

While each of the Obama State of the Union Drinking Games I found on the Internet had some clever bits, it is difficult to write an entire article or blog post with A material (even Leno and Letterman have trouble filling their monologues with 100% laugh-getters). As a public service, I have researched the best Obama State of the Union drinking games and am presenting you with just the crème de la crème (preferably Bailey's Irish), or the best of the lot for those Francophobes in the group (see Ali Canary's Greek Roots Vocabulary Lesson for explanation of philes and phobes).

Author's note: This article is presented for humor purposes only; I do not recommend that you actually play any of these drinking games. Alcohol poisoning can be fatal, and spare livers are scarce and expensive, even if you have the health insurance to pay for one.

ObamaState of the Union Drinking Game: Top Bits from Free Republic
The Free Republic jokingly advises chugging an "adult beverage" every time Obama says one of the following phrases: "let me be clear," "make no mistake," "greed on Wall Street," "affordable health care," and "inherited as in 'I inherited this mess.'"

ObamaState of the Union Drinking Game: Top Bit from Yes, But, However!
This political website satirically recommends taking a shot of Everclear "every time President Obama says 'Let me be clear.'"

ObamaState of the Union Drinking Game: Top Bits from The Huffington Post

The Huffington Post humorously suggests taking a shot every time "Nancy Pelosi claps like a seal," two shots every time "Obama uses the term 'Congressional leadership'" since "all that laughing will make it difficult to swallow," one shot each time Obama says "change isn't easy" or "make no mistake" and two shots "if Joe Wilson yells something. (For those with short memories, Joe Wilson was the Congressman who yelled "YOU LIE" during Obama's 2009 speech on health care reform, not to be confused with Joe Biden who is Vice President of the United States.)

ObamaState of the Union Drinking Game: Top Bits from Daryl Cagle's Blog
Speaking of Vice President Joe Biden, political satirist Will Durst, writing on Daryl Cagle's political cartooning blog, spoofingly advises, "If either the vice president or the speaker of the House gets caught napping on camera, last person to sing the chorus from 'Wake Up, Little Susie' has to drink four shots of beer. If Sen. Robert Byrd ever appears awake, everybody has to drink six shots of beer."

ObamaState of the Union Drinking Game: Top Bits from The National Review
Not surprisingly, Jonah Goldberg writing for the conservative National Review proposes a more "conceptual" approach, taking a drink every time Obama "suggests there's a consensus among experts about a proposal when there isn't," or "says that he's being 'pragmatic' or 'bipartisan' when he's actually being wildly ideological or partisan."

Goldberg wins the gold medal in the Obama State of the Union Drinking Game Olympics when he advises taking a drink every time Obama says something that will cost money. Perhaps to avoid a lawsuit (where's tort reform when you need it?), Goldberg cautions: "If that seems like an invitation to aclohol (sic) poisoning, you could narrow it down slightly by drinking only when something will cost you money and make the economy worse at the same time."

ObamaState of the Union Drinking Game: The AA Version
If none of the above ideas appeal to you, this author (sounds so Jane Austenish) recommends the following: take a shot of your favorite alcoholic beverage every time Nancy Pelosi's eyebrows move or the camera pans on a Republican who is not either yawning, rolling his eyes or checking his Blackberry. Chances are you won't be consuming any alcohol this way, but at least you won't wake up with a hangover!

Sources:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2438427/posts
http://yesbuthowever.com/obama-drinking-game-8136480/
http://blog.cagle.com/2010/01/22/the-barack-h-obama-2010-state-of-the-union-drinking-game/
http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=YjRlMjNmYjYyODBmMjFjNGNmMjk1N2MwYzA5NGNjYTk=
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/26/state-of-the-union-drinki_n_436932.html