Obscene Phone Call

Before the days of caller ID
An obscene call was made to me.
"Hello," I said, like I always do.
"Know what I want to do to you?"

"No, I don't" (I am so naïve)
What I heard, I couldn't believe.
He terrified me from the start
Naming all my body parts.

Telling me things in obscene words
The most awful things I'd ever heard.
I hung up the phone with a loud bang
When that was done, again it rang

I answered, hoping it was a friend
But no, it was this creep again.
This went on quite a few times
Then a brilliant thought came in mind.

It rang again; I grabbed the phone
I had some remarks of my own
"You want me? If you're for real
Okay, buster, here's the deal.

I think I really gave him a start
When I offered him my body parts.
My boobs are old, they hang to my knees
I wear dentures cause I don't have teeth.

Arthritis has changed my looks a lot
My skin is wrinkled, with a lot of spots.
A stroke has left me in quite a jam,
But if you want me, here I am."

The silence was deafening on the line
I heard nothing from him this time.
"Well?" I said, "You better be quick."
At that time I heard a very loud click.
..................................