Observations on Charlie Sheen, Donald Trump, Lindsay Lohan, and Other Media Whores
So which is a more meaningless gesture? Applauding for Marlee Matlin or standing for Stevie Wonder.
And speaking of meaningless gestures, did any of these numbskulls who spent tons of money on birthday cakes and big bashes back in February to celebrate Ronald Reagan's 100th birthday realize he died seven years ago? Usually, you don't bother with birthday cakes and parties unless the guest of honor is still filling his diapers-and Reagan hasn't done that in years.
Isn't it a little ironic that some of the biggest Planned Parenthood bashers are prime examples of why some fetuses should be aborted?
The three most important words in the English language: Follow. The. Money.
Next on the list: Shit. Where. Did. I. Hide. The. Weed.
Ninety percent of what Senator Jon Kyl (R-Arizona) says is 100 percent, pure, Grade A bullshit. Note: The preceding statement was intended to be factual.
I think Billy Ray Cyrus speaks for all of us when he expresses regret that his daughter Miley ever got involved in show business.
To save America from a year-and-a-half of meaningless primaries, mind-numbing debates, overblown conventions, irritating political ads, misspelled signs at rallies, and all that other presidential election crap, I've gone ahead and printed up this handy, easy-to-use 2012 ballot:
(Please Check One)
Barack Obama (Democrat) __
Some Idiot (Republican) __
Geoffrey Mutai and Caroline Kilel, winners of the men's and women's divisions of the 2011 Boston Marathon, both claim to be from Kenya . Unwilling to just idly sit by and take the runners' word for it, Donald Trump has announced that he has people investigating the validity of their birth certificates "and they cannot believe what they're finding." Stay tuned!
How screwed up is Lindsay Lohan's life? Her life is so screwed up that she had to give up her role as Linda Lovelace in an upcoming flick about the screwed up life of the late Deep Throat porn star. That's how screwed up Lindsay Lohan's life is.
It appears Joe Biden may nap his way through his years as vice president. If only Dick Cheney had done the same when he was VP.
The video of that paralyzed bride walking down the aisle at her wedding was very heartwarming, but pardon me if I don't find it all that remarkable. Every groom who has ever stood at the altar will tell you he was paralyzed with fear. And nobody has ever made a big deal out of that.
And finally...
As we all look at Charlie Sheen, shake our heads and accuse him of being nothing more than a batshit crazy media whore, we Americans can at least turn to our political figures for levelheaded leadership. Among members on the current list of possible Republican hopefuls for the 2012 presidential race:
Michele Bachmann - Batshit crazy
Donald Trump - Media whore
Sarah Palin - Batshit crazy media whore
Published by Frank Mucci
A Pulitzer Prize-winning author and People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive for 2010, Frank likes to make up crap about himself. He will be honored later this year with the Nobel Prize for Literature. View profile
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You so crazy. Stop by and have fun with my article, Sexy Little Girls promoted by Abercrombie and Fitch.
Would you please run for president already, Frank? Please? And I find it funny with Charlie Sheen: because #winning in his case is #losing.
All I've got to say is, "Run, Donald, run!"
The only ballot I need, for now, as well.
To paraphrase Ronnie Reagan (who started as an Arrow shirt model), "Not a bad day's work, Frank, not bad at all." Not quite sure what Matlin or Wonder are doing in there, but hey, maybe you found the weed....
That's the only ballot I need.
Okay. ;)
The Tea Party has really added "spice" to the Republican party! That Donald Trump is considered a serious candidate shows how rediculous they are. I bet Reagan is rolling over in his grave!
America is being punk'd. They laughed about all of the Republican idiots that we were fooled into voting for in 2010. Now they are really upping the ante. I have to know exactly what kind of pollutants are contaminating the groundwater in Michele Bachmann's district.