Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: Self-Help Guide from an OCD Sufferer

This is a self-help guide written from firsthand experience with this disorder and not through extensive medical training.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is a silent epidemic that affects only a handful of the total population of Americans, and very few people realize how truly debilitating this disease can be for someone to go through. The stereotypical image of someone with OCD is someone who can't leave the house without checking their oven fifty times and having anxiety over insignificant things, but in reality OCD is far worse than just experiencing anxiety. It is a mental disorder that effects a person strongly both mentally and physically, and I'm about to tell you my personal experiences with this mental disorder from having suffered from it for nearly a decade now.

OCD has a tendency to start around when a person reaches their teenage years (in other words around when puberty begins to occur.) OCD has been seen minutely in children younger than this, but teenage years have been found to be the common age where OCD begins to worsen into a more serious problem. I remember it started for me personally when I was twelve years old and attending a Christian camp two hours away from home. It started just from having a horror book described to me and suddenly my mind was racing out of control with terrible images that I couldn't seem to fight away. I had images of the book (in this case, it was The Cobra Event written by Richard Preston that was described to me, a grisly book about biological terrorism) stuck in my head, especially when I was attempting to go to sleep at night. Even when I finally returned to the safety of my home I couldn't get that immense fear and anxiety out of me. In the book, the victims of the disease spread by the terrorist would eat at their own flesh before they died, and I became terribly afraid of contracting a disease like this. But this was only the beginning of the struggle that OCD put me through.

As the years went on and I entered high school, for a while these psychological symptoms of OCD calmed down for a while (I will explain simply what having OCD does to a person mentally later on.) It was a time of new discovery, and my anxiety over those horrific images that had plagued me for so long began to subside. I started becoming more interested in following the Christian way of life, even though my family hadn't attended church in years. I knew that in doing so, I had to resist many of the things that society was slowly deeming as all right and acceptable, namely homosexuality. Christianity does not proclaim hatred of people who are, but speak firmly against it in the Bible. At first, the whole concept of homosexuality to me was unfamiliar and weird anyways, since I hadn't been exposed to it much, but then I started feeling a new anxiety that seemed to come out of no where based on this belief. Suddenly I was nervous that it was inevitable that I would commit the sin of becoming a lesbian, or that I had a crush on this or that girl or that I was only deluding myself into thinking I had crushes on guys. I know to most people who are open-minded this isn't as big a deal as it was to me, but at the time I was so terrified that even contemplating this was going to get me eternal damnation. And not only that, but the more I struggled to attempt to resist the thoughts and fears the stronger they became. It seemed like nothing I could do would get rid of the terrible thoughts that were slowly consuming me.

As I entered into college the OCD only served to get worse from then on. It seemed like no matter where I went, I was terrified of the thoughts that might absorb into my confused and wavering mind. If I saw something horrific in a movie or show, or something that disgusted me, or bothered me at all, that image would never leave my mind. Sometimes they even grew worse the more I let them spiral inside my head, and I felt like I had no control over my own thoughts. It was such a frightening realization that I could no longer repress these strange and horrible thoughts that I was beginning to think I was a psychopath, or that there was something far more wrong with me than what really is. That's one of the most terrible things about OCD itself; its symptoms make the disease feel and seem a lot worse than it really is.

Finally, the OCD reached a level where I was ceasing to function normally anymore. I was so stressed and drained and horrified that I would break down crying and finally, one night, I broke down and pleaded with God to help me. I felt like He really wanted me to tell all this to my parents after years of silence and putting up with it, and I finally did so. And I felt so much better getting it out in the open; for years I was horrified that if I told them what was going on inside my mind that they would be disgusted with me, even kick me out or ship me off to an institution. But they were very understanding, in fact my mom appeared to know right away that it was some form of OCD that was plaguing me as opposed to a more serious mental illness, and we went right to work finding me a Christian counselor who's been working with me ever since to help me psychologically combat the evil thoughts that enter into my mind. I'm also on medication now; I was prescribed an anti-depressant as well that's greatly helped keep my mind at ease and helps keep the OCD away.

In my case, the Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder that I experienced mostly concentrated on the Obsessive or Mental aspect of the disorder as opposed to me having several physical quirks, such as needing everything perfect or I was a terrible mess. But OCD isn't set in stone; some people suffer more of the incessant compulsions more than troubling thoughts. They feel enslaved by nonsensical rituals that they have to perform or else it terrifies them what consequences might lie ahead. For instance, if the person doesn't check the oven fifty times before they leave, they begin having thoughts that it will be the one time they didn't check that their house will catch fire, and then the house next door will catch fire too until the whole world has burned up. OCD is very much a cause and effect type mental illness. My form of OCD which lies heavily on the Obsessive aspect of the disease does cause some compulsions as well. Because the thoughts and worry plagued me so much, I got into habits of picking at scabs and scratching at my head and skin just to try and distract my brain so that the thoughts would subside.

If you think, either after reading this or have for some time, that you could be suffering from OCD, then tell someone about it! Keeping this disorder locked away inside you only feeds into it more and more; telling someone will help get you the aid you need in order to fight it. Believe me, even though it only effects a small fraction of the population, you aren't alone in your battle. If you talk to someone about it, you can then seek out help for it, such as finding a suitable psychologist or counselor that can support you and teach you techniques on how to resist it, or you can talk to your physician about getting on medication that might help lessen its debilitating effects.

In a very simple explanation, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is caused basically when your brain is over-energized, far more than a normal person's brain would be. Because of this extra energy that is flowing through it, the subconscious thoughts that we may have stored away end up channeled into our executive thoughts, and when this happens the mind is too over-stimulated by the extra energy to control what we should actively think about and what should be left in the subconscious realm. This leads to a mingled blending of everyday and routine thoughts and thinking of fearful or terrible things that could happen to you or others, and sometimes the latter can take over your thinking entirely. (Note: This is different than having paranoia; while paranoia and anxiety are similar, they are clinically very different from one another according to my counselor.) Obsessive-Compulsive disorder has also been linked to several other anxiety disorders, including general anxiety disorder, panic disorder, chronic depression, and numerous others. Many people go years suffering from this disease not knowing what it is and too afraid to tell anyone, but I can tell you that if you suspect this is happening to you, then talk to someone about it! It can be a relative, a friend, a school or work counselor, anyone you trust and you know will support you through thick and thin! OCD may feel terrible, but when it comes down to it, it feels far worse than it actually is, and it is highly treatable with the right help. Thank you for taking your time to read this, and I hope you have considered my words through this first-hand experience with this mental disorder. I pray that all of you who are suffering it will be cured as I have been of it, and if you're afraid to tell anyone to seek the Lord's strength and guidance on who you should speak to or what to do that can aid you!