Obsessive Thoughts

At about midnight Shatz arrived at the farm and parked his car near the Priels' Deux-Cent-Quat. The cottage was in complete darkness, as the farm's generator was switched off regularly one hour earlier - and that certain hour was one of the rare hours' during which something was accurately performed on the farm.

After some short hesitation before the front door, Shatz did find the right key and inserted it in the door's lock. Opening it he nearly banged his head in the net door, whose existence he had simply forgotten. He did brush his nose against it in astonishment, cursing it under his breath, then opened it up, took off his shoes and crossed in a slow and cautious step the living room, adapting his eyes to the darkness.

His own room door was open; he entered it quickly, with a throbbing heart and closed the door behind him.

Before doing anything at all he gropped his way to his bed and extending his hand, passed his fingers all over its length and width. Disappointed he undressed collected a towel and in his underwear, went to the bathroom downstairs - taking care not to disturb the Priels' and their offsprings sleep.

Why did I've to rush back for? He wondered frustrated. I could have saved that night trip and pass the night at Everon's villa instead. This woman can rouse passion in a statue... He thought furious almost. Just listening to her sweet voice makes me dizzy. No, I don't think that Everon is right, claiming that her frustration is the outcome of lack of sexual satisfaction... 'For Gos's sake what am I thinking about!' He muttered alout opening the shower's tap to cool his heated up body.

I don't think that this is her exact problem, he went on thinking while he was drying his body. Moshe Priel surely doesn't suffer from any inferiority in this certain field. The equal treatment we both shared from her last Saturday, the same sympathy she enowed us with; and the same reproof and scolding, as if we were her property and nothing else - proves it.

On his way back climbing the staircase, he did with much caution. He didn't wish to hear the slightest rustle from their room... but against his own will, he pricked his ears and slowed his pace. Having entered his room for the second time, he closed his door, threw his wet towel towards the one and only chair, carelessly in the room obscurity and sprawled on his bed, supporting the back of his head with his clasped hands, absorbed in his thoughts.

Essentially the cause to her 'problem' must be rather simple; the lonliness that was forced on these two is enough to fill their relationship with tension - although their life together was harmonious, before they had to adapt themselves to the unique conditions of life in the Coast of Hope. Thus every daily banal question, every trivial conversation on any subject, could turn into a case for a quarlle without any early warning; and sometime even into an ugly brawl that leaves deep scars, which in themselves are fertile ground to future conflicts.

There're some more reasons of course, like characteristics that up to the encounter with these certain conditions, both of them tended to ignore, the circumstances were entirely different and much more easier back home - while during the new reality those characteristics which they managed to curb and hide were exposed in their utmost strength. The most conspicuous negative characteristics that she finds in her husband, Shatz went on probing the depths of his brain, are his squimeash behavior, his exaggerated dependence on Everon and Da-Silva, his good heart; characteristics that were very convenient and which she exploited for her own ends alone, in more peaceful circumstances back home - and due to thses virtues she married him nodoubt... Shatz smiled in the darkness, having reached a possible solution to that riddle.

However, after they have settled in the farm, these virtues turned into quite an obstacle in their relations with Da-Silva in particular. She must have been used to rule him alone, and she wasn't ready to let strangers enjoy his free services. Da-Silva might have arranged for her husband some blind dates, with local women in some remote villages, which they visited together. Although he doesn't seem to be the appropriate type for such affairs, he's just flesh and blood like anyone else.That might be the reason to the incredible ease with which Da-Silva manipulats her husband for his own ends.

To Hilla's credit one should attribute the fact that she was left behind alone, helpless and frightened with two small children that at that time were still in their nappies, in a foreign and hostile environment. At the hotel's suite she had to wait for her husband's return among strangers just as well. Strangers that certainly didn't ignore her physical assets, and who kept bothering her - so, no wonder she's frustrated.

As for Da-Silva's invasion to her privacy, Shatz didn't think that the farm's manager could attract her sexually, but the mental siege that he was harresing her with, the messages that he radiates in his looks; did no doubt arouse in her subconscious the fact that she could have him whenever she wants to... Although she's not interested at all in such a relationship, which would endanger her position and her husband's as well in this country. But the pressure that Da-Silva creates is tormenting her - and that's the reason to that kind of hostility, which she bears towards him.

So, that's more or less is the situation. Shatz summed the matter up yawning; the thoughts brought him some relief, although the happenings in the priels' bedroom still bothered him. Although he envied Priel who right now was embracing his wife in his arms no doubt, he didn't hate him - but he kept lying awake with shuteyes, yearning to sleep.

A slight squeaking noise hardly audible reached Shatz's ears, penetrating his brain in a repeated echoe. Rising on his elbows excitedly, he could see his door opening slowly and Hilla's silhuette on the threshold; she was covered with a gawn down to her ankles, just the pallor of her face glowed in the darkness - like a film's negative.