Obstacles of Having Crohn's When Planning a Wedding

If you're sure your Crohn's disease will be in remission for the date you schedule your wedding, you can plan your wedding just like anybody else would. But if your Crohn's is not completely under control, or you feel any uncertainty, then I suggest you follow a plan like mine: Keep It Simple, and Keep It Small.

My husband and I had both been married before, which was probably a good thing, because neither of us wanted a large wedding, and neither of us had parents who expected one. Since at the time my Crohn's was pretty far from controlled, we agreed to invite immediate family only. My father had passed away, so my mother came; his parents and one brother came. Since neither of my sisters could come, I invited a good friend to "stand up for me" as they phrased maid or matron of honor in that part of the country, and my then husband-to-be had his father act as best man.

We chose to hold the wedding in a small chapel. There was no one scheduled before us, and no one after us, so the bathrooms would be all ours, which believe me, I appreciated. If you have Crohn's, you know how any stress can affect your illness. If you don't, you can probably imagine.

Shopping for a wedding dress is a little different if your Crohn's is not completely under control. Since I was not a young bride, the flowing white, with layers of petticoats, or a 10-foot train, was not going to be my dress of choice anyway, but I wanted something both pretty, and pretty easy to get out of quickly. Since the weather was warm, and the chapel would be fairly dark, I chose an off-white dress with short sleeves, a sweetheart neckline and a full skirt. The fabric had a hint of sparkle, but not a big '80s-style look. I decided to wear it with sandals and no hose; that would make it much easier for me in case Crohn's demanded a quick trip to the bathroom.

In planning the reception we followed the same "small and simple" strategy for managing my Crohn's. We kept it small, inviting only those we'd invited to the wedding, and we held it in the living room area of the suite we'd booked for our first married night. It was catered by the hotel, except for the cake, which my friend brought from the bakery. The bathroom was off the main room, and I intended to ask our guests to give me a few minutes to change into even looser clothes, that were easier to get out of.

For my sake and the guests, we chose a variety of small appetizers for the reception. It included things free of the sort of things that can cause disruption to my Crohn's, like grease, strong spice, and lots of fiber, but included some of those things for the pleasure of our guests. I kept it to crackers and a yogurt dip for me, but there were eggrolls, little jalapenos, fresh vegetables with dip, a fresh fruit platter, and hummus with pita wedges for the guests, as well as some tiny quiches that I hoped I could handle. And of course, the cake: white, with raspberry filling and buttercream frosting. And pink icing roses.

We were lucky. Our wedding went off just as we'd planned. The medications I was on at the time kept my Crohn's in check; both my intestines and steroid-bloating were under control, so there were relatively few bathroom stops for me. The dress fit, and in the dimness of the pretty little chapel, I don't think anyone even noticed I had on no hose. The reception was a success, the food rapidly consumed, and nothing lasted long enough to wear me out. My Crohn's stayed quiet, as I ate carefully. As with most weddings, I suspect, the planning took much longer than the wedding.

Aside from being simple, our wedding was also relatively inexpensive. That meant we could have the honeymoon of our dreams - but that's another Crohn's story!