OCD & Ruminating

Before I started going to psychotherapy, I didn't even know what the word 'ruminate' truly meant. Now I know. I became very familiar with it first-hand because I have OCD - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and a symptom of OCD is ruminating - repeating something such as a thought, a sentence, over and over in my head. That's my definition of the word, 'ruminate' from personal experience. Out of curiosity I looked up the word online at the website: www.merriam-webster.com . The related definitions it gives are: 1. To go over in the mind repeatedly and often casually and slowly; and 2. To engage in contemplation: reflect. Ironically, someone chewing their food over and over and slowly is called ruminating too. Here I'm referring to the website's first and second definitions I've listed above.

Originally I thought I ruminated solely because I have OCD. I didn't know 'normal' people ruminate too. I found out the hard way...because someone I live with has been ruminating a lot lately. This is someone who wasn't diagnosed as having OCD, nor shares my other OCD symptoms. I hope I didn't annoy this person with the ruminating I used to do because of my OCD, as much as I have to deal with his/her ruminating. Maybe I did. If I did, I wholeheartedly apologize. When I think back, I know I too often used to ask questions out loud such as, "Is this okay?" "Is it okay if I ...?" as I referred to something I had just done, or was about to do. My ruminating came with uncertainty, self-doubt and a low self-esteem. I knew I suffered with these personal problems as well as being diagnosed with having OCD. My OCD had me ruminating in relation to my fears. I had to make sure over and over that I did the 'right' thing, to reassure myself that I didn't make a fear happen. That's why I put myself into psychotherapy 13 years ago. What I didn't ruminate about out-loud, I remember always tormenting myself with inside my head as I did my every day chores in my home and when I was out. I also remember ruminating most often while I took a shower. In the shower I mostly ruminated over conversations I previously had with others. Ruminating is what I just said it is - torment. If someone asked me, "Should I ruminate?" I would answer, "Absolutely not. Spare yourself the torment."

Spare others the torment too, if they have to listen and try to help someone who ruminates. As I now try to help someone else who ruminates, I realize how time consuming it is. I find that it takes up so many hours of my day, as I continuously hear it throughout the day and try to help. I often wonder if I am helping, or if I am being an enabler by allowing the person to have someone there to listen to their ruminating. It is possible that if we don't have anyone there to listen to our ruminating, we can't verbalize it out loud, so we'll stop doing it sooner than later.

Ruminating is exhausting too - for the person who ruminates and for the person who listens to someone else ruminate throughout each day.

How To Stop Yourself or Someone Else From Ruminating?

You know how they say there's an underlying reason for unhealthy behaviors that is what needs to be dealt with? Well, that's the way I feel it is with ruminating. As I said above, aside from my ruminating being caused by my OCD, it was caused by my feelings of uncertainty, self-doubt and a low self-esteem. Do I think the ruminating done by the person I live with is caused by these personal problems too? Yes. I think the more important a situation is to us, the more we'll ruminate over what we do and say in it. When these negative feelings and others exist within a person, it is very important for that person to go see a psychotherapist for help to overcome these personal issues. If we feel good about ourselves psychologically on the inside, we will be able to handle everyday situations in a more 'healthy' way.

My psychotherapist also taught me a physical way to stop myself from ruminating. She says that whenever I find myself starting to ruminate I should clap my hands together loudly and yell, "Stop it!" It sounds like something funny to do, but it has helped me. In the past I have also read to put a rubber band around one of your wrists and when you realize you are starting to ruminate, pull on the rubber band and then let go of it. The pain of the rubber band hitting your skin will definitely get your attention to the reason the rubber band is there in the first place - to stop you from ruminating.

Try the clapping and/or the rubber band. If you know someone else who ruminates, you can suggest those two solutions to them too. The clapping worked for me. I haven't had to use the rubber band - yet.

I still ruminate a little, but definitely not as much as I used to. Being able to control the ruminating I do has set me free. I now find that the less I ruminate - especially in relation to an OCD fear, the quicker I can let go of, or overcome that fear. Thinking less about a fear diminishes the fear. The less fears I have, the easier life is for me. That is true for all of us!

Source:
www.merriam-webster.com ; 2010 Merriam-Webster, Incorporated