October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

October has been designated at Domestic Violence Awareness Month. We usually think of adults being involved in domestic violence, but teens are also subjects of abuse.

Teenagers are dating and becoming involved in relationships much younger these days. I never would have thought about asking my parents to go on a date at the age of 12, but alas, it is happening! Teen pregnancies are also on the rise and teens are getting married. All of these things contribute to the doors opening for teen violence.

Peer pressure is another concern. Being the object of peer pressure can cause a teenager to feel totally alone and rejected. This can cause a teenager to do things they normally would not consider. Peer pressure is a major problem in society today. It has even been the cause of teen suicide. It could also cause a teenager to become a drug user, an alcoholic, a loner, or just go off the edge with erratic behavior. Peer pressure in the form of abusive language can also be defined as domestic violence.

I'm sure you have heard stories of a teen threatening self-harm if b/f or g/f broke up with them, of a teen demanding to spend all of their free time with b/f or g/f, or seen teens getting constant text messages from a b/f or g/f. All of these things could be leading to a bad situation and end in a nightmare.

There are several things we can do as parents to educate our children about teen domestic violence. It all begins with knowing your teenager. You should keep the doors open for communication between you and your teenager and make time each day to talk or chat with your teenager about anything and everything in their life.

Don't be afraid to ask questions. It shows your teen that you are interested in them and what they are doing. In some cases, It may show concern depending on the subject. On the other hand, if you ask too many questions, you may come off as being nosey.

Always listen to your teenager and keep an open mind. You may not always hear what you want to hear, but you must remember that the teen years are a time of growing and it is important that you let your teenager make some decisions all by themselves. It's all a part of growing up.

Stay calm. Staying calm will allow you to stay positive. In some instances you may need to take some positive action. Yelling and screaming will not teach your teenager anything about domestic violence, it will only give the signal that yelling and screaming is ok. Yes, you want to yell and scream, but try to hold your emotions in check (you can scream later when the teen(s) are away).

Educate your teens, both boys and girls. Boys should know what the proper behavior around girls should be. Manners and respect should be given to all of their friends, and girls they date. Girls should also know proper behavior and what is considered abuse, either physical or verbal.

How to Recognize a Teen In Possible Abusive Situation

This goes back to knowing your teenagers. You have to really know them to notice some of the changes they may be experiencing. Parents should stay alert and pick up on any change in a teenager's routine, personality, and friends.

Some teenagers may go into seclusion. They will not take part in social activities with friends. Staying at home and in their room is their new favorite thing to do.

A change in the regular daily routine could also be a signal to parents. Dropping out of sports, hanging out with friends, a change in friends, new activities or anything with few details are a sign that something may be wrong.

Spending "all of their time" with a boyfriend or girlfriend is another sign that your teen may be headed for trouble. Also, be aware of your teen wearing clothing that is not appropriate for the season or weather outside. Wearing long sleeves in the summer could be a way to cover up bruises.

A change in clothing style could also signal that a teen has made some new friends that may not be appropriate.

Visible bruises and/or scratches that cannot be explained could be a sign that your teen is being physically abused.

A good organization that discusses teen violence is Loveisrespect.org. Loveisrespect.org is a national teen dating abuse hotline. The website lists signs of abuse, testimonies from other teens, a Dating Bill of Rights, and the phone number to a 24 hour toll-free hotline at 866-331-9474. This is a great resource for all teens.

Sometimes a teenager in need of help will not accept help from a parent. Having another adult available that they respect to talk with is another option. Remember that if something seems and feels "off" with your teenager, it very well may be.

Sources:

Love Is Respect