Odd Balls

Being an English teacher in Japan does not help when a person is in a serious relationship with a Japanese woman. An English teacher is expected to correct Japanese speaking ability and to do this in a slightly joking fashion. During classes or among friends who are Japanese these corrections are taken lightly and with a degree of levity. The downside is that these types of redundant correction become habitual and so does the explanation of the correction. Many foreigners who have been English teachers for several years display this psycho-habitual dysfunction if we may call it that.

Just recently I met with a friend of the above stated type and over a glass of beer we started to talk about relationships and how attractive the Japanese accent is when the women speak English. After a few moments of this type of conversation I asked my friend about his own relationship. He fell into a short period of thoughtful silence then explained how he hated teaching English; mainly it was because his girlfriend was upset at him for correcting her. He said that his correction of her English was something small like saying song instead of songs, that he had made the correction habitually and light heartily, that he didn't consciously mean to make the correction. He further explained that his girlfriend was so hurt that she hung up the phone on him, after that he had a hard time concentrating on his work and that he had sent her several text messages to say how sorry he was for upsetting her. Then he got a glimmer in his eye and asked me if he should send her flowers to apologize, I didn't really know what to advice give him. Of course it would a good idea back in the U.S. or most any other country, but then again this is Japan and it is different than most countries and cultures in the aspect of relationships.

My friend's predicament got me thinking, I wondered if other English or lingual teachers/professors had the same or similar problems! Let's say an English professor in America who is married to a native English speaker also had this type of relational hick-up, where he or she habitually corrects his or her husband/wife. So I posed my thought to my friend in which he gave me the strangest look and soon we broke into laughter at the reasoning of the idea and also how absurd it sounded. After enjoying our levity for a few moments he finally cheered up and made the proclamation that he still hated teaching English. As for me I would have to concur because I too have had several odd moments like this in my own relationships, mostly my moments have been instances of misunderstanding and mis-communication. Then before we parted ways he received a call from his girlfriend, she told him that she was not upset and that she was joking him to try to get him to lighten up and relax. After he hung up we enjoyed another laugh and left for our homes with light hearts.

There are several factors as well as several scenarios that come from the above stated habitual correcting, mis-communication, and misunderstanding. A good example that should be heeded whether you are and English teacher, in a serious relationship with a Japanese person or both is first and foremost Japanese as a whole have certain phonetic problems such as they blur l and r together so that rice sounds like lice. Yes the old pun from American kung-fu movie's voice overs where the Chinese person always sounds like they are saying fried lice, linguistically this is not Chinese who do have distinct l and r but rather Japanese. Also the Japanese language blends b and v as well as besides n Japanese has no stand alone consonant. So unless the Japanese person has a really proficient English teacher who can teach phonics there will be confusion in communication as the Japanese person's sentence will come out sounding something like this, 'Tunaito isu flied lice ando miso supu' instead of 'Tonight is fried rice and miso soup' or if the person has no understand of sentence structure or word usage their sentence will sound like this 'I wanto tu watchu paintingsu ato da museumu' rather than 'I want to see the paintings at the museum'. Trust me when you are in a relationship it does get really confusing even if you do understand these minor lingual problems, then again as foreigner sometimes, most times when we speak Japanese we over emphasis the pronunciation and this too causes more confusion.

So if you are an English teacher in a serious relationship good luck and if you do make these types of mistakes remember you're not the only one. Before I part I do have a tid-bit of interesting advice as I like to play in psychology and mental sciences I have tested a theory that you may find useful and fun. As foreigners living in Japan most of us want to speak the language and if we are in a relationship with a Japanese person they probably want to speak English or our native language better, so try this your special someone speaks to you in English or your native tongue and you speak in Japanese that way when you make a mistake your other half can enjoy correcting you. Warning this does improve both of your language abilities but you both need a lot of patients.