Odd Man Out 8

First, the bad news, you good people are in for yet another round of forehead-smacking humiliation. The excellent news? It's getting to be crunch time for the show I'm performing in (My last, if I still retain the brains God gave geese. I'm getting too old for this stuff.). As much of my free time as can be spent must be spent pounding in music, lyrics and dance moves for Children of Eden. Your narrator will not be back at it (or the Friday rant, for that matter) until the show is done, which will be the weekend before Thanksgiving.

Fine, then, after a decent interval, dandy. Let's get on with it.

Group 1

bubble gum
toothpick
tobacco
watermelon

Group 2

Evil
Villain
Lewd
Hussy

Group 3

B
D
F
H

Group 4

Sam Cooke
Mark Knopfler
Ernest Evans
Johnny Cash

Group 5

Piano
Fiddle
Drum
Trumpet

And now, as you veterans of the OMO wars know, it is time for the intervening space-waster. In the first few of the series, I put in a presidential joke. When I ran out of them, I switched to presidential anecdotes, and here is the last one of them.

U.S. Grant, a successful, if not always skillful general, was a far less successful president throughout the two terms that followed the Lincoln administration (finished by Andrew Johnson). He was probably not a particularly happy man during those years, but he seems to have had a few less-stressful moments.

At one point in his administration, Grant was introduced to a fellow named Horace Norton, who had just founded a college in Grant's home state of Illinois. By way of congratulation, the President offered the educator a cigar.

Of course, such a cherished memento as a cigar from the President of the United States himself was not meant to be smoked. Oh no, it stood on exhibit for decades in the campus museum, until 1932, when the college went out of business.

Some of the alumni persuaded the founder's grandson, Winstead Norton, to smoke the treasured cheroot, since there was no longer a suitable place to display it. Young Mr. Norton torched it up, took a few puffs...and it exploded in his face.

Yeah, yeah, yuk, yuk yuk; now how about some answers? Your wisecrack is my command.

Group 1

bubble gum
toothpick
tobacco
watermelon

The odd man out is the watty melon. The first three are things you chew, but do not swallow. The last item actually gets digested. I could have stuck in a cheap actor's joke and substituted "scenery" for one of the first three items, but, then, I'm not sure whether the actors who do partake swallow any or not.

Group 2

Evil
Villain
Lewd
Hussy

The odd man out is evil, which was always about something bad. The other three words are all pejorative terms today, but were neutral words when they were first used. A villein ( originally ending in "ein," rather than "ain") was simply a serf or a peasant. Lewd meant of or pertaining to the laity, as opposed to the clergy, with no prurient overtones. A hussy was originally a housewife. How her morals slipped to the point where they are today is not at all clear.

Group 3

B
D
F
H

The odd man out is H. Yes, all four represent the first even-numbered letters of the alphabet, but, to this date, nobody has ever sung or played in the key of H..

Group 4

Sam Cooke
Mark Knopfler
Ernest Evans
Johnny Cash

The odd man out is Johnny Cash who, in all his voluminous output, never sang about doing the twist. Sam Cooke had a hit with "Twisting the Night Away." Mark Knopfler, as lead singer for Dire Straits, had a hit with "Twisting by the Pool." Ernest Evans' contribution to twist encomia is obvious: his stage name was Chubby Checker.

Group 5

Piano
Fiddle
Drum
Trumpet

The odd man out is piano, an instrument which is played by a pianist. Years ago, when Joan Rivers was standing in for Johnny Carson on "The Tonight Show," she referred to someone as a trombonist in her monologue, then pointed out that the show's bandleader, Doc Severenson, had told her that musicians' respective professions typically end in the suffix "ist," hence the use of the term "trombonist." Then she said, after the bandleader had finished explaining that to her, he turned away and began speaking to a hookist. As you may have figured out, assuming you can still remember what the other choices were, the fiddle, the drum and the trumpet are played, not by an "ist," but an "er." Interestingly enough, the harp can seemingly go both ways, but there does seem to be a rule. If you are able to pick your harp up and play it, you are a harper. If you must sit down next to it in order to play it, then you are a harpist.

And there you have it. The long nightmare of the Odd Men Out is, for a time, at an end. Now stop wasting your time here, and go fire up the boob tube.

Sources

Wikipedia

Own trove of useless knowledge