Ode to Secretaries - 1999

Take two parts salt and one fifth gin,
Take three spoons of honey and stir it right in,
Mix generous amounts of caffeine and wine,
Blend it all up 'til the mixer blades shine.

Attach fifteen arms for all the phone calls,
Stick on ten legs for the swift trips down the halls,
Add fifty fingers for the flipping of pages,
Find a place for eight ears to hear like the sages.

Place eyes front and back, above and below,
So they'll see, hear and find all there is to know.
Insert a mind of steel, wool and grit,
With a trilobite capacity for all that must fit.

Cover completely with rough and tough skin,
Where nothing of inconsequence ever gets in.
Add a touch of sarcasm for just the right wit.
And a wink and a nod to make a side split.

All of these things, though not visibly evident,
Makes an assistant both wise and competent.
For without these aides in the office each day,
To find all the things we find slipping away.

Without these administrators of everyday things,
Those files, hard and software, would quickly find wings.
Without their unbending dedication to work,
We'd quickly bog down and seem like a jerk.

To all of those here, who toil so hard,
We say quite concisely without sentimental regard.
"Hope your day is quite nice, hope you get a small smile.
And, oh, by the way, where's the Henderson file."

(Hope your talents and efforts never go unnoticed.
Except maybe the five minutes you left early last week.
That'll be our little secret.)

HAPPY SECRETARIES DAY / WEEK!!!!! 1999!!!!!!!!!
One year before the millennium, when the Secretaries take over the world!!

Ed. note: Oh, you think they didn't?!?!