Of Kids and Worms

When I was a kid, I thought the world owed me much, just because I got born in it. This feeling had much to do with the fact that I was the only girl, and made much of by my grandparents, who I had conned into thinking that I was a saintly doll. At the slightest hint of opposition water-works would start. I kid you not, I had mastered the art of looking ever so pretty crying. A slight pout, watering of the eye, a delicate and excellently timed sniffle, and dabbing the tear with a lacy kerchief. Of course all opposition melted.

My parents were less impressed. My father even went to the extent of complimenting me on MY ONLY FEMININE ACCOMPLISHMENT as he called it. He also gave me a book with this poem that he dedicated to his darling daughter, the drama queen.

Nobody Loves Me

Nobody loves me,

Everybody hates me,

I think I'll go and eat worms.

Big fat squishy ones,

Little thin skinny ones,

See how they wriggle and squirm.

Bite their heads off.

"Schlurp!" they're lovely,

Throw their tails away.

Nobody knows

How big I grows

on worms three times a day.

Lovely isn't it? It just describes the "much misunderstood poor me" act kids love to put on. I used it liberally on my two kids who hate the poem. They would throw such tantrums when their eggs would be runny, or they would have to drink their milk or even not be given two wheelers before they turned 18. Oh I would not get mad, or stressed .... I'd just start reciting this poem

Nobody loves me

Every body hates me

I think I'll eat some worms

Hey, I am lucky they grew up to be normal. Otherwise they would have gone into therapy and billed the expense to me.

Then I would have been throwing a tantrum and reciting this poem.