Of Santa, Tooth Fairy and Kissing: When Little Children Start to Ask

Christmas had just passed and many parents would agree that a lot of their children still believed that most of their toys actually came from dear Santa.

It's not unusual to hear kids discussing about the truth regarding Santa's true identity. At times, this would lead to cat fights where a child would try to defend Santa's authenticity versus those who would assert that they have discovered the real person behind the red suit. This could push the little ones to a degree of confusion. With a touch of apprehension in discovering the truth, they would run to their parents. They seem to seek solace and comfort in their desire to hear from their parents' mouth that what they believe in is actually the truth, yet they want to confront and take a peek at the side being presented by other children who believe otherwise.

In similar fashion, many children also question the authenticity of the tooth fairy. On many occasions, many parents are so forgetful to put that much-wanted quarter (or dollar for others) in exchange for a lost tooth hidden under the pillow. With a hint of anger, children would start to nag if the tooth fairy came, or would start to ask if in truth, there is actually one.

These topics become rather more serious when kids begin to ask about bodily changes and things that may pertain to relationships and sex. There are those who would look with still very innocent eyes but would put parents on the spot about claims of classmates about the falsity of the story of the birds and the bees. Questions about dating, pregnancy, the private parts would start to come.

In cases like this, it is normal for parents to feel trapped and be lost for words to answer these questions. Worst, some kids do not get satisfied with one simple answer. A question gives birth to more questions. An already answered question leads to more questions wanting to be answered.

How do parents really answer?

Be honest about your feelings. You can tell your child when you are not quite certain about how and what to answer to his or questions, because that is the truth. Be honest in saying that some things do not have easy answers, or that sometimes there is no single answer. Be honest in saying that you feel that there are some things that can not be completely understood at a tender age, although you are there trying to make him or her comprehend in a way that he or she can. But do not leave the child wondering, and try to provide an answer.

Share the responsibility with your spouse. Do not push your child to the other parent just because you were startled by the child's questioning. Instead, share the responsibility. It's good to share common grounds with your spouse or partner, so you can approach issues from the same side. If you want do not want to divulge answers about Santa or the tooth fairy, and let things come slowly to your child, then agree on this. If you feel that it is time to be honest and that the child is getting more confused, then agree to divulge.

When it comes to answering questions of a male child about the body, a male parent can be more comfortable and equipped to answer. Inform the child that the parent of the same gender shares the same moods, bodily changes and concerns, so that parent is somehow more knowledgeable.

Stay in the level of the child. When a child asks a question, stay in the area where he or she is at. Do not give too much information, because he or she is not actually asking for this. If the child asks about kissing, then you can simply state that people express their affection with a kiss. It is a sweet and tender moment for people who have good feelings for each other. Do not offer more than that, because that is all that the child asks for. You may feel panicky, when in fact, a simple statement would appease your child's curiosity.

Don't underestimate your child. Be very aware of your child's mental and emotional development. As a parent, you should know what your child is learning at school, reading on his volition, and watching on TV. A young child who has seen the movie "Polar Express" might say that believing in simple things would allow him or her to appreciate and be in touch with the spirit of Christmas. Then leave things at that. After all, it is often true that if you have faith in something, no word is needed.

Your child may be very interested in the human body and have learned the simple functions of the different systems. Knowing that your child has a good idea about the reproductive system should stop you from continuing to talk about the stork supposedly flying over to deliver the baby.

Leave a tinge of mystery, if you can. You may actually want to stop them from growing too fast, but you cannot actually stop that. But now that they are still young and full of innocence, just let them be. Things like the tooth fairy and Santa Claus may rather spell magic and mystery. But children appreciate it until a certain age, so just let the mystery linger. Somehow, they would outgrow it on their own. Take it from the child's end. So for the time being, let's just let the children remain as children.