"Oh No, I Can't Have That. It Has Way Too Many Calories!" and Other Fat Chat that NEEDS to Disappear

Everyone has heard, and probably engaged in, what I like to call "Fat Chat." Fat Chat is the dialogue that happens at family parties, in public bathrooms, and especially in the workplace in which people, mostly women, denigrate themselves through the discussion of their bodies. Common Fat Chat comments include, but are most certainly not limited to:

"Oh you're so virtuous! Only salad for lunch?"

" I can't have a donut. Once I have one it seems the whole rest of the day goes downhill."

"I really should go walking but I think I'll be lazy, like I am every day."

"I wish I had your hips! I really need to start working on my weight."

I'm pretty everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about, especially in our weight obsessed country. But every single one of these comments needs to end for good in order for all of us to actually be healthy, happy, and sane.

People commonly think that berating themselves will help them hone their bodies into submission and ultimately make them happier. People also think that comparing themselves to others who have what they want will also drive them to work harder to achieve what they need to make them happy. However, both of these assumptions are entirely false. Denigrating and beating yourself up only continues the cycle of low self esteem already in place. And comparing yourself only lowers your own self-worth.

Think back to the first time you began talking negatively to yourself. Think about the words you started using like "fat thighs" or "flabby stomach" and the judgments that came along with those words. Now really think: have you ever been happy or satisfied with your body when you use those words? Sure, maybe you starved yourself for a day and you felt good for awhile, but a few days later were you still happy? My guess is that happiness was either non-existent or it wore of pretty quick.

Now, think about what comparing really is. Essentially, based on outward appearances, you are ranking everyone in a hierarchy, according to your own subjective system. Not only that, you are cutting people up into pieces rather than taking them as whole people. For example, you really like a friend's hairstyle. "Man, I really wish I could have her blond straight hair. I would be so much more attractive." BUT, instead of taking your friend as a whole and valuable person, you cut her up into her hairstyle, and want to add it to yourself. Would you trade your whole life for your friend's life? Chances are no, and if you choose yes you probably have no idea what insecurities your friend has.

People need to realize that Fat Chat, whether private or aloud with other co-workers, is detrimental to one's self-esteem, and really does not help anyone be who they really want to be or fulfill their whole selves. How much more time would you have if you stopped thinking about your body and started thinking about fulfilling some of those deep down desires/dreams? How much more energy would you have to feel good about yourself, to engage in activities that contribute to your whole well-being and value? And how much more would you value others and their beauty if you took them as whole people rather than their parts? The start is actually looking in the mirror and realizing that you, and you by yourself without any weight loss, makeup, different hairstyle, stylish clothes...YOU are valuable and wonderful. Trying to fit into society's mold of beauty and success will only spiral you further on the dread hamster wheel of trying to fit in.

Try on these words/actions instead:

"I'm going to have a donut because they taste good and that sounds good to me right now."

"I'm not going to have a donut because sugar doesn't sound like it would feel good in my body right now."

"I'm going to find out what is really pleasing to me."

"My body is me, and I am a whole, valuable person."

"I'm hungry, it's time to feed my body."

"DAMN, I'M SEXY!"