OK! Magazine Review

My dear friend asked me to read an OK magazine and tell everyone what I think. She loves them! I don't usually read them because I really don't care about famous people and what they ate for lunch. I grabbed one anyway and, as promised, here is my sort of review of Issue #16 page by page. I am not getting paid for this, I am just doing this to humor my friend.

The Cover

There's only 16 issues? Really? How do they number these things? Or is that just for this year? My first impression is that this looks like it's going to be a lot of kids and babies issue. Oh look, someone I never heard of lost weight. Sandra has a new life. My life will be complete.

Inside Cover

Hmmm, there is an ad for "Beauty and the Briefcase". Oh goody. Another pointless show is going to air and it premieres April 18^th at 8/7c on ABC Family. Oh, that was yesterday. Darn the luck, I missed it. The next page has the index. Something about famous people, more famous people... Jennifer Anniston is pregnant? Oh, yup, and there is another baby being held by his mom (Who I never heard of).

More Index and another ad

This is a couple with a baby (see... told you!). Man, they are a cute couple! They also have a dog. Oh my gosh, they really have a page for what a famous person ate? REALLY? I was just kidding about that. The rest of the index looks equally not interesting. There is a section for meet the Team OK! Experts. Out of six people, I have heard of one. The ad is for deodorant. Am I the only that sniffs myself when I see deodorant ads?

Red Carpet

There are five women in blue dresses. Should I rate them? Dress 1: hot. Dress 2 must be held on by duct tape. Dress 3 reminds me of my Grandma's dress. (It was a stylish dress) Dress 4. Uhm. That is the cutest necklace! Dress 5 looks okay. I guess the color of the week is blue. I suddenly feel the urge to paint my nails.

Who Wore it better?

If I ever get famous, I will never wear any of these outfits. They are all ugly and I think one of them was actually attacked by a bird. Next page. Hats look equally ridiculous. Although I thought Lindsay Lohan's hat was actually her hair. My bad. And the hair war... do stars really care about each others hair that much? That's it! I am going to have a hair war this week. Or not.

Someone lost weight.

From cow to WOW! She looks really good. I would say something but I think I'll just cut this out and tape it to my fridge for inspiration instead. She's the same height as me and lost 56 pounds.

Oh. Two teen stars broke up and it tells why. I don't care. Next!

OK! Week Photos

I think that should say "Week in Photos" but the guys head is in the way. Alright, they had a baby and they went for a walk. WOOHOO! And you all read this because... why?

The lady in the Jenny Craig ad doesn't look any skinner in her after picture than she did in her before. What it looks like to me is that she wore a frumpy dress with a horrible pattern in her "before" photo and wore something less puke-alicious in the "after" photo.

Easter Special, next two pages.

The next two pages are about stars celebrating Easter and how many cute kids they walked around town with on Easter.

90210 Girl is about to pop!

That is the gist of the next page. That is the cutest baby cake! I'll bet it cost a fortune. Next page is about the new shape-up shoes. I really want a pair! I think the grey pair would match anything I have.

Kim and baby at beach

PHOTO OP! Kim went to beach with her chubby baby. Oh my, he is adorable! And she went shopping and took the baby for a walk and sat and read a book. And why is this in here?

Gay Parents and their Happy Family

Next is about a gay couple and their family. They are quite a cute family but I have to flip the page, there is an ad for food!

Cute Kid Alert!

I am feeling less intelligent already. One kid lost his hat and picked it up. Awwwwww! Suri wore a tutu. Awwwwwwww! Jenna Elfman posed with her baby. Aww.... Jenna Elfman had a baby? OH MY GOSH! (who is she?) That is SO COOL! And a lady is carrying her daughter and they both have on shades. Awwwwwwwww!

A few skip worthy pages

Barf... next page has Britney. FLIP! Next has Some shirtless guy and some girl posing with some older guy. Oh I get it! The whole page is about bare midriffs. Then there's an ad for nutrisystem. I need chocolate!

There is also a page, wait, 2 pages on couples. I am feeling ill.

YES! Another page of babies!

Oh. Never mind. It's a page on how Tiger Woods soon-to-be Ex Wife is divorcing him. Next page is one lady ready to date, some secret and the burning question that has been on my mind all day! Is Paris still hot? According to Google, not really. It's only in the 60's during the day and close to the 40's at night.

No make-up!

Jessica Simpson posed without make-up. The world is going to end. There's also an internet scandal about Peaches.

Miley Cyrus

Is she moving too fast with her boyfriend? My gosh! How old is she? Oh she's 18. Never mind. NEXT!

Jen's Having a Baby.

It's about time! In the picture she is all aglow and he is busy staring at her boobs. I want that picture in the magazines of me and my honey. Oh my gosh! The next four pages are nothing but Jennifer Anniston. I don't like her that much.

Next skip worthy section

All about Kate Gosselin and her herd of children.

Sandra has a New Life

I thought Sandra Bullock was gay. Sorry, Sandra Bullock. Not that I think she's reading my article (that would be totally cool though!) I didn't know she had a boyfriend/ lover/ husband/ man. Apparently he was a jerk and she left him. GO SANDRA! She's moving into an apartment too.

Ad- Appetite control Spray

I am sure it's a gimmick. The ad is ridiculous. The next page is how to look like Kristen Bell right down to her shoes. You'll only have to be rich to achieve that look but keep trying.

Comparing Rihanna and J.Lo

Yup, two whole pages filled with comparing them to each other. They both look good in some pictures and downright scary in others.

BAGS!

Miley Cyrus bought a bag. It was important enough to fill an entire page and leads into the 3 trendiest looks for spring that most normal people don't give two shiz about.

American Idol Makeover Secrets

They don't look that different. I can still tell they are the same people. Skipping. And the next "Pick the perfect color" too. All the colors are ugly.

America's Sexy

Yup ugly Betty is skinny and sexy and Gwen Stefani is the body of the week. Not that anyone else in the average world will ever have a body that looks like that.

What I ate Today

Here's the idea. A nutritionist "evaluates" a stars diet for one day. If I ate like her, I'd be freaking skinny! The nutritionist makes a few suggestions to make her diet "healthier" but seriously, he needs to lighten up! She eats as much calories all day as I do for dinner. Gimme a break! The next page is about New Orleans so of course Brad Pitt and his kids are pictured there.

Skipping ahead to page 70

Some vampire guy wants friends, Madonna's daughter is going to a new school and Chelsea gives advice about dating to a 16-year-old. Overall, this page is a bore and I am ready to fall asleep. The hydroxy cut ads aren't making me feel so good about myself either.

I can't take it anymore!

I'm going to stop right there. I am so sick of reading about who slept with who, who looks pretty, who doesn't, who is pregnant, who took their baby for a walk and who looks better now than ever. There is page after page of pictures of "pretty" people littered with ads for the next hot diet or diet pill or make-up to make you feel better about yourself.

Out of the whole magazine only one article really caught my interest and made me inspired. The rest, I just don't care about. I don't care what the stars ate. When I read, I want to find out things that will help me. I'm self-centered that way. How is knowing that Britney Spears can change her outfit in 20 minutes going to help me? It's not.

I want a magazine that is helpful to me, teaches me something useful, like how to make a chocolate cake better. I am just not interested in famous people how pretty they are or how they live. I just don't care. I need chocolate now.