Old Political School Songs Found; Once Used to Praise the President of the U.S.

Musicologists made a major discovery in August of this year through the archives of the New York Department of Education. Buried in a forgotten, dusty vault were preserved copies of old political songs once used in public grade schools on the east coast to laud the era's President of the U.S. Many of these songs were clearly labeled as being written by grade school teachers, clandestine political songwriters and ghostwriters/arrangers. As done by the B. Bernice Young Grade School in New Jersey by re-arranging a religious song for kids to praise President Obama, so too did many of these archived songs appear to be rewrites of pop songs, unknown hymns or just written in a similar idiom.

At a press conference done on October 2, the musicologists behind this find (Dr. Geoffrey Nevotheeb & Marcus Nipoch) played these political songs to a team of Associated Press reporters. Yours truly managed to arrange a viewing of this press conference via an internet feed and extrapolated into text the performances of these songs from the musicologists who sang them with piano accompaniment. Below, I present the lyrics from each song as sung verbatim by Dr. Nevotheeb and Mr. Nipoch and what they said about each one...

Dr. Nevotheeb: "This first school song was a re-arrangement of the early Depression song 'We're in the Money' as a quasi form of praise toward President Hoover in 1932."

Mr. Nipoch: "Rumors were that kids sometimes sang this at the soup lines in NYC as a means of dispelling fear of fear itself. Dr. Nevotheeb, a G major chord, please..."

"We're in to Hoover! We're in to Hoover! We've got big denial and what it takes to get along. We're in to Hoover! That guy is sunny. Old Man Depression, you aren't through, you done us o-over. We're in to Hoover! Come on, you mover! Let's praise him, amaze him--keep him away from Franklin Delano Roosevelt."

Dr. Nevotheeb:"Cute ditty. Not exactly smooth syntax for children to sing."

Mr. Nipoch: "Re-arranged by an 'M. Frump', a politically left of center teacher at a public school for the blind."

Dr. Nevotheeb: "Coincidence on the FDR reference. Here's a school song praising FDR right before his re-election hopes in 1940. Appears to be an original song, though has an eerily early rock n' roll beat happening there. Mr. Nipoch, an A-flat chord, if you please..."

"We're back in the F-FDR. You don't know how lucky we are. Back in the Franklin...back in the Delano...back in the F-FDR. Well that cigarette holder really knocks us out. They leave the fears of a world war behind, and Eleanor makes us sing and shout..."

Mr. Nipoch: "Sounds like our musical British Invasion may have actually been a musical British Plunder."

Dr. Nevotheeb: "I know nothing."

Mr. Nipoch: "Well, we do know this: JFK had more than a dozen original school songs and re-arrangements than any other President of his era. One based on 'Battle Hymn of the Republic' struck us more than the others. An E-flat chord, Dr. ..."

"Our eyes have seen the glory of the coming of JFK, Lord. He's cleaning up the White House and where Eisenhower snored. He hath loosened us to freedom with his big and gallant sword; Jack and Jackie go marching on..."

Dr. Nevotheeb: "We do have a bridge to that, but we refrain to a later date since those under 21 are in attendance today."

Mr. Nipoch: "Keep in mind it wasn't always about hymns. Richard Nixon, for instance, loved jazz, and schools supporting his politics weren't afraid to write a Presidential praise song in a jazz idiom. As stated on the song sheet, in D major for Dick Nixon by J. Gatewater, circa 1972..."

"Sha-bop-a-la, Nixon's so groovy. Be-bop-a-loop, he got us to the moon! Sha-bop-a-la, Nixon should be a movie. Be-bop-a-loop, he'll have one soon! Sha-la-la, his peace sign is so funky, sha-la-la, his transparency no tool; sha-ba-da, if he tape records our song today, sha-ba-day, we won't make him a fool..."

Dr. Nevotheeb: "And don't forget the scat mid-section of the song..."

"Shadda-badda-doo-shadda-waddah-dicksacrook-ah-badda-waddah-doo-badda-waddah-checkwatergate-hotel-ah-badda-waddah-dah..."

Mr. Nipoch: "Again, we know nothing.

Dr. Nevotheeb: "Absolutely. But while this one might seem insidious in nature, the last two Presidential school songs we found for Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton, respectively, were much more heartfelt. Listen to this original school song for Carter from 1979..."

"Mr. Peanut and President Carter! Mr. Peanut and President Carter! One wears a shiny monocle; the other shiny pearly whites. Both are protein for the soul and bring right wing spites."

Mr. Nipoch: "But the song about Bill Clinton from 1998 is the shortest song we found in the archive. This was an unfinished phrase repeated ad infinitum and kids invited to come up with their own thought to complete it. A B-flat major chord, if you will..."

"Our President IS..."

Mr. Nipoch: "Notes written on the song sheet say the most common response was 'Miss Lewinsky's first black President.'"

Dr. Nevotheeb: "Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for joining us today. We're hoping to publish these at some point in 2010. However, we're currently in a litigation battle with the Democrat and Republican Parties who want to throw respective bonfire parties with these songs...