Older Kids Criticizing Your Parenting Style? What to Do

Kids, they think they know everything. That includes how you should parent. Are your older kids criticizing your parenting style? Maybe they're envious of the attention you have to give the little ones. Maybe you've learned from your earlier mistakes and changed a few things. Whatever the case, they seem to be resentful and angry. How can you make peace with them, while still standing firm?

Remain calm. It's hard not to lose your temper when parenting methods come into question. It's even harder when your own kids are the critics. How dare they interfere? It's not their place to tell you how to parent. They haven't even graduated high school yet. Resist the urge to tell them just that. Try a friendlier approach.

Sit down and listen to your older kids. Criticizing your parenting style is unacceptable. Letting them express their opinion doesn't change that. It's just common courtesy. Your kids may not be adults. Still, they have a right to be heard. Even if you have no intention of changing the way you parent, show respect for their opinions.

Consider their input. Maybe they have some valid points. Maybe not. In any case, you might at least get to the bottom of the issue. Allow them to state how your parenting makes them feel. That might help you decide exactly how to react to their complaints. You can make a better informed decision when you have all the facts.

State your case. If you've changed your parenting style, explain why. Even if you feel they have no right to criticize. Think of it as teaching your children how to interact in a socially acceptable manner. Once again, that doesn't mean you should go back to your old ways because your children disapprove. It's really not their decision to make.

Make a decision and stick to it. You've taken the time to hear your kids out. You already know how you feel about the matter. Now sit down with paper and pencil and weigh the pros and cons. Once you've come to a reasonable decision, be firm. You're the parent. Make it clear. The final outcome is up to you. Older kids critical of your parenting style? Give them a say before laying down the law. Then make it clear you expect them to follow your rules, whether they agree or not.

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