Older Women Who Give Up on Looking for Love

I can't tell you how many older women I have talked to in the past few years who tell me that they have given up on looking for love, and are happy with living alone. Is this the future for most older women? Whether it is or not it's happening more and more, and I myself are on of them!

I decided to write this article because more and more I came across women like myself who have been on their own for several years and slowly but surely have given up on looking for love. Does that mean if someone special came along they wouldn't go for it? Probably not. I know with myself I have given up looking and I am very comfortable with my life just as it is. However, on the other hand I would like to be married again someday. On the whole though that's not what I'm hearing from other middle aged and older women.

The worst thing that could have ever happened to the male species is that women have figured out we can get along with out them, and quite well I might add. I like many middle aged and older women grew up in a time when marrying a man was a given. We would marry, have kids, and hopefully grow old with the love of our life. Unfortunately for many of us what was suppose to be, and what really happened are two different things. The American Dream of the woman born before 1960 has turned out to be a nightmare instead. Or has it?

I know when I got married at 19 as many of my peers from the old days did, thought we would be set for life with out future all planned out the way it was supposed to be. Unfortunately along came middle age and a divorce. It doesn't really matter who asked for that divorce, when in the end the dream of what should have been is over. A divorce for women who grew up thinking they would never have to ever date again, is I might say quite a shock to the system, as well as to everything we were taught to believe. At first it's the most difficult thing this type of woman could ever go through. It's very much unlike a lot of younger people nowadays that think divorce is just a stepping stone to the next relationship.

So, what happens after the shock, humiliation, and devastation of the divorce that should have never happened? Most older women struggle with trying to learn how to live alone. This is no easy task. Most older women went from Mom and Dad's house to their husband's house, and have never lived on their own. Believe me, it's not as exciting as when your twenty and shaking off Mom and Dad to party hearty. It's a long and grueling experience for most older women, especially if they were married twenty or thirty years, like myself. So, after all the struggle, the scary times, and the loneliness, eventually older women do start to adjust to living alone. As a matter of fact after awhile it goes beyond\d adjustment to contentment and a new sense of self.

A funny thing ha[happened on the way to despair, we found ourselves, and a sense of happiness and contentment in doing for ourselves, and having life our way. Most older women who were married many years ago were taught to live their lives around their man, and yes, that's what most of us did. We never thought of ourselves, it was always, my husband, the kids, and us as a couple, and we as a family. Believe it or not there was rarely if ever, a Me. What older women who have been on their own are finding is that there very much is a Me, and they like it. It's all about, What do I want, What do I think, Where do I want to go? There finding that life is good, exciting, and free from having to consider what everyone else wants and just concentrate on what they want. Quite frankly, it's fantastic. I watch Chic Flicks all the time without one complaint. Maybe this sounds selfish, and maybe it is, but considering how many years I, as well as my fellow older women concentrated on everyone else but themselves, it all seems very fair to me.

So what;s happening that these women stop looking for love? Well, after several years of realizing just how wonderful being alone can be, and getting set in one's way, it's difficult for these women, to imagine going through all the stuff they once went through. I know it sounds really noble to give oneself totally to a husband and family, but you have no idea what burn-out is until you try it. Weigh all that against the freedom of just taking care of yourself. There's no contest, especially when you get older and it gets that much harder to do, So, is the all giving wife, mother, and caregiver a thing of the past? Perhaps it's slowly but surely becoming extinct just like the dinosaur.

In the end we can ask, have older women really given up on looking for love? Or, has the older woman just found a better way to live, on her own being free to only worry about what she wants, instead of everyone else? The answer is deep in the heart of every older woman who has learned that being alone, isn't so bad after all!