On Bad Luck and Why Literary Agents Suck
I'm depressed. Why? For the past ten months I've been having literary foreplay with a literary agent who told me she thought I was a 'terrific' writer, had excellent credentials and that she loved my work. She loved it so much that throughout this time, we spoke twice on the phone, and I shared with her 3 of my manuscripts. It seemed like she was pretty focused on having me as a client. That is, until last week when she told me no. Her reasons? She didn't think she could sell my work to a major New York publisher, albeit admitting that it was a subjective opinion. So what did I do? I sobbed. I Moaned. Contemplated swallowing that entire bottle of Tylenol P.M. (Kidding). I bought a cheesy Hollywood movie on DVD that I spent too much money on, and ended up watching it as a means of trying to cheer myself up. Then I regretted buying it, despite sinfully enjoying it, throbbing head and all.
For the past 4 months, ever since I sent the 3rd manuscript (in April is when I sent it) I've been saying how I just want to know her answer so I can move on. Yes or no? I thought that once I got it I would feel better, but now I only feel shitty. One of the things writers complain about is how they can never seem to find a literary agent who can recognize the quality in their work. But what do you do when you have that already, in addition to 'excellent credentials' (as she called them) and she still doesn't sign you?
You go back to the beginning. Trying to get published is by far one of the most difficult things anyone can do. It's like trying to get into Harvard medical or law school x 1000. Unless you are a celebrity or a media whore of some sort, the unconnected masses have to struggle like hell. I've come to the conclusion that the only way to get published and benefit in the short term is through luck. Quality (as I've shown) does not matter.
The agent told me I should submit to some small presses, one of which published a client of hers. I did. But again, getting accepted by a small publisher can be just as difficult as getting accepted by a large one. What really tires me is how no one values the talent, only the ephemeral things like awards, who your publisher is, who blurbed for you. It does not matter if what you produce is shit, as long as you have these things. As proof, I'll offer the fact that in his lifetime, Robert Frost won 4 Pulitzer Prizes for his poetry. I didn't know that until I looked him up on Wikipedia. Does it matter? Now knowing that, is his poetry any better? Emily Dickinson was ignored in her lifetime. Again, does it matter now?
One of the things Woody Allen stresses in his film Crimes & Misdemeanors is how the thing people fear most is randomness. They don't like knowing they have no control over certain things, and ultimately how success in life comes down to luck. Yes people will throw the whole 'hard work' and 'talent' thing in there, but that's not what decides in the short term. I have those 2 things but I lacked the luck. So now I'm back to where I started: sending to a small press that will probably reject me, despite my ability to advertise on highly popular sites and the fact that my book(s) are not dull and pretentious, but actually insightful, fun reads if they actually read them.
I have not been lucky enough to push forward. My life remains a series of maybes and almosts. But despite the ass crack of life looming over me with ready-made shit, I still have hope as I look up from the bottom of the toilet. Appreciate that now, (the hope) because in five minutes that could (and probably will) change, for another dump always awaits.
Published by Jessica Schneider
I am a fiction writer as well as reviewer. I write for the Philadelphia Inquirer, Blogcritics, and work as the Books Editor for Monsters and Critics. I also co-founded Cosmoetica. View profile
- The Holiday Season Can Do a Lot to Influence Your Luck for the Upcoming Year The Christmas holiday season is well under way, it is a time of shopping, religion, and spending time with families and loved ones. It is also a time of superstitions. One of the biggest categories of Christmas supers...
- Bad Luck ForeverI teenage boy has a day full of bad luck.
- Proceeding Bad LuckLuck seems to follow strength. Not always right away but luck will jump on the bandwagon of a body that outrageous, and it will go the other way as well. Luck will follow around the decrepit.
Top 50 Songs About LuckLuck has been one of the most popular topics of songwriters and musicians for generations. The concept of luck remains elusive to most of us, but these top 50 songs about luck m...
- Interview with Diana Murphey, a NYC LIterary Agent
- Finding a Literary Agent
- The Role of Your Literary Agent
- Tips on Getting Published
- Increase Your Business Luck
- Book Agents for Fantasy Manuscripts
- Homeowners Insurance - No One is Immune to Bad Luck
15 Comments
Post a CommentI feel your pain!!! I spent the better part of my childhood and early 20s researching and writing my novel, and once that was done, I thought the hard part was over. No such luck! I'm not a 'name', I did the research on my own and I have no credentials (who thought THAT was important? how about just being a good writer???). After about six months of sending out queries and getting no response at all, I slipped my manuscript to someone who loved it and gave me the cash to self-publish. So my book is alive, but I get no help marketing it. I'll have to pay for reviews and do God knows what to get it out there, but at least I feel a little better.
I think the problem is that the world has just gotten too big. Agents are bombarded with queries, and most probably won't even crack the email if they don't recognize the name. I think it's pretty lazy to only want to work with someone who has already established themselves, but maybe that's just the bitterness talking. The good news is that self-publishing is a lot more respectable than it once was, and more readers are willing to buy an indie book.
Whatever you do, don't give up on your dream!
Yes, literary agents a.k.a. "literary pricks" don't give a damn as to how well written something is. Octomom can write up the biggest piece of junk and have the literary pricks ooh and aah over it, because well, she is Octomom. Quite frankly, I don't care about writing anymore. I still do it, on my own time, and I've gone back to short stories. I did realize that even trying to deal with literary pricks was simply a waste of time. Maybe after I'm dead my stuff can get published. I don't even care anymore. The amount of time and ink and paper wasted is too much to think about. I decided to go back to college and work on getting a real career because the query letters and dealing with the literary pricks was nothing short of a headache.
I really enjoyed your article on feline hairballs. I have a couple of hairball factories named Chance and Mittens, so I found that article truely inspiring.
Sorry it took me a while to respond to your last query but I've been working with a literary agent. This agent said that they enjoyed the manuscript and asked me if they could keep it for a few more weeks to read again, so I guess I'll find out what that means in time.
like
We have an e-list also, if that interests you.
Oops they cut me off. If you're interested, my husband and I have a website www.Cosmoetica.com which challenges this. Anyway, the important thing to remember is that no agent is better than a bad one. You don't want some unenthusiastic drone like this woman who rejected me. In retrospect, it was a good thing she didn't sign me b/c I know she didn't "get" my work and her only interest was money.
Thanks re: the article. Which one did you read? Though my novels are still my best work. I do the reviews just b/c I enjoy it and it helps with my fiction as well as the functionary reason of "keeping my name out there." As for sending, you just have to keep sending. I'm still doing it myself and I keep writing and keep trying. Everything you say is true. They're always saying "how competitive" it is, yet hundreds of thousands of books still manage to get published, mostly crap and most doesn't sell. Yet they always seem to make room for it. Any good stuff gets buried beneath the crap. But, there is hope. Quality wins in the end. No one will be reading Meyer or Oprah's book picks in 50 years. Wikipedia has a list of the bestselling books from 100 yrs ago. Check out the names and see how many are familiar. Probably not many. In 1908 the only one I recognized was Lucy Maud Montgomery. The rest are forgotten. If you're interested, my husband and I have a website www.Cosmoetica.com which c
I just finished on of your articles and I have to say you are an excellent writer, I thought I was reading it right from a magazine.
Wow, just wow. I can't believe you're not published yet.
You remind me of a more experienced version of myself, smart, witty and jaded.
Correct me if I'm wrong but you, (as do I) think that the majority of wannabee writers put out horribly delusional pieces of work that flood the slush piles and crowd out any chance at a break for a handful of deserving writers who follow all the rules and take their lashes that come along with this thankless endeavor.
I've tried everything that I know; I've entered contests, submitted freelance, written short stories, essays and poems for local print, small local presses and I've even written and rewritten my query letter till I could teach a how to class on the art of the perfect query letter and the self doubt that accompanies it; all of that being said, do you have any advice, any at all?
Thanks for the comment. I still get rejections but they're all for generic reasons. But the worst one was because "I wasn't black." Meyer is Danielle Steel with vampires. The fact that she had such an easy time getting a lit agent (I think she was bemoaning a total of 9 rejections) says the level of quality that they're looking for. 47 rejections is nothing. Keep sending. It's like tossing darts. They don't have a clue what they're looking for or what will sell because if they did, the book industry would not be dying.