On a No-Fly List? Change Your Name

Fugitives are the first people who come to mind when you hear about names being changed. You can imagine the forged passports and the skulking offenders infiltrating border patrols as they attempt to escape authority.

15 year old Alistair Butt is different. The authorities told Alistair to change his name. They did this when it was discovered the teenager was on a 'no-fly' list. Although teenagers can exasperate parents to the point of contemplating strangulation, it is hard to believe that they are so dangerous that they should not be allowed to fly. When Alistair's parents attempted to find out why he was on a 'no-fly' list, they were met by the formidable blank wall of officialdom.

All they were told was that if they didn't want him blacklisted for life, they should arrange to change his name. Does this mean that the lists are based only on names and don't include descriptions? Duh! Can't the officials understand that anybody who deserves to be on the list only needs to change their name, much as they suggested in Alistair's case?

Throughout history, people, cities, and countries have been changing names, so young Mr. Butt would be in elite company. It isn't only lawbreakers who select a new identity. Actors, singers and writers regularly change their given names, not to make themselves disappear so much as make themselves easier to remember. Take Cher for instance; can you see yourself screaming 'Cheryl Sarkisian LaPiere?' Or how about John Denver? His real name, 'Henry John Deutschendorf Jr,' wouldn't exactly trip off the tongue at a concert, would it?

Alexander of Macedon was another famous person whose name has changed over time. He called himself the 'Unconquerable God.' Admittedly, he himself didn't change his name; it was left to embarrassed future generations to gloss over his Godlike arrogance. They decided that Alexander the Great was a good enough description and it wouldn't clash with any other religions. Whew! To think we might have been praying to Alexander, the Unconquerable God.

And when it comes to lucky name changes, count yourself lucky if you live in St. Paul, Minnesota. You could be living in Pig's Eye Landing, named after one-eyed Pierre 'Pig's Eye' Parrant, if Father Galtier hadn't had the foresight to build the 'Saint Paul Catholic Church,' and the city fathers hadn't hurriedly decide to name the town after the church.

City name changes are becoming the 'in' thing. On the banks of the St. Lawrence, there is a confused city that used to be known as Pointe Maligne before becoming known as New Johnstown and then being renamed Cornwall. No matter what its name, the town has always been known as the 'smelly' city because of the fumes from the local paper mill which used to envelope the town. The mill closed down years ago, and the fumes are no more, but from coast to coast, the city is still known as 'smellytown.' The town council want to change the name to 'New Cornwall,' to disassociate itself from the smelly description. This does not seem to make sense. The name 'New Cornwall,' won't change anybody's perception of the town if part of the old name is incorporated in the new one - unless, unless they are going down the Auschwitz road.

Poland has just applied to change the name of Auschwitz. Auschwitz, seared into the world's memory as a Holocaust death camp, is a UNESCO world heritage site, and is in Poland. The Polish government have always worried that because it is in Poland, some of the millions of visitors will assume that the death camp was run by the Polish people, and not the Nazis. They want to change the name to 'Former Nazi German Concentration Camp Auschwitz-Birkenau,' to make sure that everyone realizes that the Nazis operated the camp after they conquered Poland in WWII.

What is unusual about the Polish name change is that this isn't an attempt to hide the past history, but is ensuring that the past history is remembered accurately. The name Auschwitz is still there, so it isn't a name change so much as an addition to a name.

Perhaps Cornwall and Alistair Butt could take a leaf out of Poland's application. Cornwall could change its name to 'Cornwall; former Smelly City but the Paper Mill is now closed and the air is fresh and clean.' That says it all, doesn't it?

As for Alistair Butt, he could rename himself, 'New Alistair Butt; on nobodies no-fly list,' and tell the authorities to Butt out? As Wm. Shakespeare said,

'What's in a name? That which we call a rose,
By any other name would smell as sweet.'

Hmm? I wonder if that includes 'Pig's Eye Landing.'

Sources: wikipedia.com
ottawacitizen.com
seawaynews.com