On "Re-Dating" Your Ex
Before you decide to re-date your ex, a conversation should take place during which boundaries are set. You cannot simply pretend that this is the first go-round, and issues from your previous break-up(s) need to be addressed. Perhaps both of you have grown in your time apart, and that issue no longer stands between you, but that needs to be established before things get hot and heavy.
It is important to stay away from relationships that are doomed from the beginning. In other words, if you know it can't work, don't even head down that road. However, if you feel that a fresh beginning is possible, follow these tips for a more successful relationship.
1. Past is Past
I did say that you need to discuss issues from the past, but once they've been addressed, they should be stricken from the record. If you are unable to let go of things that have been said or done with your ex, then the possibility for re-dating goes right out the window. Instead, agree that past is past, and that you are going to move on from a fresh, open-minded perspective.
2. Look for Signs
If you've been with your ex before, then you know the signs that things aren't going the way they should. Although you shouldn't constantly be accusing your ex of behaviors that led to the relationship's demise, you should also not ignore signs that things are headed asunder. Protecting yourself should be your utmost priority, even if re-dating your ex seems like a good idea.
3. Give the Benefit of the Doubt
In somewhat contradiction to rule #2, it is important to give your ex the benefit of the doubt. It is human nature to be wary when re-dating your ex, but don't let it rule your new relationship. Instead, be open and honest about concerns, and make sure they are addressed sufficiently before moving on.
4. Be Careful of Fights
All couples argue, whether you're "re-dating" or not, so don't expect a smooth ride free of breakers. Sometimes you'll fight, and this is to be expected, but never throw old arguments into the face of your partner. You might be re-dating your ex, but that doesn't mean he or she deserves to be punished for sins of the past.
Published by Steve Thompson
Steve is a full-time freelance writer. In addition to the more than 3,000 articles he's written for AC, he has also written articles and other materials for more than 100 happy clients. He enjoys writing abo... View profile
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6 Comments
Post a CommentIm trying to get back with my ex. the hardest part is leaving the past in the past but the best part is to re light the flame of love jejeje ya its kinda sweet but its true :)
PART II of my post:
1899 Goochunderstand what I've had to recover from. Afterwards, I plan to let go of all the anger I had built up against him and just go with the flow. After all, I chose to let him back in and if we're to move on, I need to forgive him and let the past rest in its grave and start a new beginning for my sake.
I'm currently dating my ex again. We dated for 4 yrs.Took a year break and he's come back to me. After I've rejected him so many times, we're finally on an even keel to work things out and he's expressed that he's determined for me to be the one and us to be one, yet I'm very withdrawn to an extent. He's hurt me so much in the past it makes me weary. I try harder this time around to keep the lines of communication open. Instead of holding back what I feel, I try to espress myself more than before. At times though, I get scared and retreat. He tells me I can't keep doing this or things will never work out. I want to make it work so I'm trying a new approach. When I'm upset, I write. It's the best way to get my emotions out in a positive way. I want to close the door to the past for good so I've decided to send him a piece of one of my writings that I wrote when things were at their worst. I feel he will be able to visualize just where I stood mentally at the time and maybe he'll truly u
I am trying to redate my ex. I dont know if it is going to work out because I am also dating someone else whom I have feelings for. I want my ex to be a part of my life for my childrens sake and the other man that I am dating has accepted him in my life and wants them to be friendlt toward each other. But my ex, dont want me to even have any friends so I dont know if it will work out or not. Kind of reminds me of the marriage with him.
I am currently dating my ex, but I really don't know where dating ends and the relationship of getting back together begins?
I could never imagine getting back with my ex..but I do know a girl that tryed it..but got divorced..again..after 2 yrs!!....