On the Traditional Roles of Women and Men

From an evolutionary point of view, before technology empowered women with the ability to survive independent of men, the role of the man and woman was well defined. Traditional roles of the family had been established out of necessity instead of by the 'social environment', because the environment in early times dictated the 'society' of those living in it. This is no longer true.

Prior to the time of metal weapons and military strategy, men banded together in order to protect their interests, and their interests were their families. In modern times, it must be admitted that no true family can 'be' without, in the very least, the presence of both parents. The women of prehistory were the glue that held the community together. They tended to the domestic issues that were the by product of the propagation of the species and it remains their responsibility even now. Men defended and provided for the stability of the community within the environment so the women could safely operate in their capacity.

As stated before, the environment dictated the society, and polygamy was a part of prehistoric society. Men often died violent deaths in their various excursions, leaving widows and orphans to the general provision of the community. If there were not enough men to go around, the community died out. If the community wanted to survive, measures had to be taken. Depending on where one lives, polygamy in this day and age is frowned upon by those who believe their cause to be morally superior, but in other cultures, it is actively practiced.

Marriage is the modern equivalent of a man's acceptance of responsibility for the safety and care of a woman. Recall, in prehistory, a woman could not physically support or defend herself without the help of the more virile male. Technology has blurred this reality in so many different way, but blackouts, open space, and wild animals, (human kind included) are a rude awakening for women used to the trappings of modern life. All the technology in the world is useless when it comes down to a physical confrontation between a woman and a man. True, there are exceptions. Some women are quite a bit stronger than the average male, but that is the exception.

Modern society has obscured the roles of men and women by overcoming the evolutionary process of man against nature. Now, it is nature against man. A woman can live and die without a single man to influence her personal life. They can even bear children by scientific means, and never physically copulate. Now that women have proved that they do not 'need' men, the traditional roles are reversed with women possessing the bulk of familial 'power'.

In most cases men relinquish it in an effort to 'keep the peace', in some cases the women 'demand' it, believing themselves to be entitled to their 'voice'. This is the mark of societal influence, of 'women's liberation' as it has come to be known. In modern marriages, women still raise the children and men still provide, but women can now perform equally well under modern conditions and men are no longer valued as equal partners or even as the providers and protectors they once were.

Women can provide for and protect themselves with enough consistency to plan out their lives and set their goals independent of men. Under these conditions, any man trying to assert himself in the traditional manner with a woman such as this, is rejected almost immediately by her in a display of the independence that society has instilled in her. This independent mentality is ruinous to the family structure, as men no longer have a place in their homes as a 'man' if they want to 'keep the peace'. This does not mean to imply that women are at fault for dysfunctional families, but the obvious inference here is continuity. If the mentality of women remains the same, eventually men will be excluded from their lives altogether as difficult and unwieldy. The feminist movement is proof of this trend.

The family man has been reduced in stature and worth to 'equal partner' in a 'union' between two consenting adults. His 'contribution' to the family is likely to be determined by the perspective of his wife, the likes of which most men will recognize in the 'honey do' list. In addition to this, the need to maintain employment has resulted in the over saturation of feminine principles in the family home. Which in turns results in the instability of the marriage structure as the traditional roles of male independence and female 'codependency' is reversed or negated completely. Men find themselves in a position of confusion, wondering how and why women 'do the things they do'.

A defense mechanism for some men is to resolve to simply say 'yes dear', and hope for the best, relinquishing their traditional male roles as authority figures resulting in a plethora of psychological mental stresses. They console themselves by engaging in activities in which they perceive themselves to have complete control or authority. They commit themselves to their jobs or pick up unhealthy habits such as drinking, gambling, or womanizing.

Despite the negative connotations, men who indulge in such activities are not confronted by any opposition when indulging as they disassociate themselves from the negative aspects of what they are doing. Fishing, sports play, and similar activities are an expression of male power and control over their environment in the same manner.

Other men distance themselves from women emotionally, treating the population of women as a single harem from which they can pick and choose. Wealth and power are magnets to women of every culture as their maternal and instinctive desire for security is expressed in the foregoing of modest conduct or refinement in order to obtain that which they perceive as most valuable: Their 'basic' necessities. Frequently many women envision a means by which to support themselves and seek out such men, inconsiderate of appearances.

The music industry is experiencing an emerging crop of artists promoting themselves as womanizers with popular reception by the masses. The entertainment industry is laden with beautiful women who are present simply because they can sell their beauty like material possessions. Family structure and the traditional role of women is secondary to modern success, and many women put off childbirth to 'secure their careers'. With physical beauty and sex appeal having monetary value, traditional 'spiritual' values decrease accordingly. Modesty decreases, promiscuity increases, and the men and women who participate and are successful at it, inspire it in the children being conditioned by this aspect of society.

Men and women of modern society are classified, by my standards, into four mentalities: Misogynists, Feminists, Individualists, and Traditionalists, with a fair amount of the population making up the latter two by way of their emotional 'mistrust' of the opposite sex and idealized 'romanticism' respectively. With the onset of computer matching, male and females can find mates suited to their particular lifestyle, often resulting in enduring relationships. But the majority of singles find themselves in relationships motivated by individualistic goals instigated by physical attraction or impression.

The raising of our children under the dictates of society is the cause of the dysfunctional family. Two parent families, according to the dictates of society, must work in order to have 'reasonable' living conditions. Children, also according to the dictates of society, must go to school in preparation for their contribution to society, which compels them to succeed or end up 'needy'. The 'raising' of children, because of the dictates of society, is controlled and most frequently carried out by someone other than the parents.

Parents are at work, kids are at school, teachers and babysitters bridge the gap, while dinner time, afternoon TV, and sleep remaining to the parent and child themselves. The times parents are able to emotionally interact with their children are infrequent as time is spent tending domestic duties and working while children are in schools being 'conditioned' for entry into modern society.

The fact that we have so very little 'quality time' to spend with our kids before they join society is the results of the mentalities we grow up with. The truth is, we are not really raising our children, someone else is. Working parents spend an average of 4 hours with their children a day, depending on what time they are bedded.

Mornings are spent preparing for school and work. Our society dictates how we will raise our children and even when we can. If one is to prepare one's child for a successful future in this modern society, without independent wealth, it is impossible to do so without submitting to society's dictates.

We don't have control over the raising of our children, we must work or be reduced in social status, and this leaves very little time for the raising of our kids. Truth be told, our kids do most of their raising themselves. We adults of modern society, even those reading this right now, are the results of these very same dictates. We may not recognize their presence in our motivations initially, but once we recognize the confines of these dictates, one may recognize that the average individual has no true control over his or her life.

How we perceive ourselves determines our motivations and we average citizens perceive ourselves as caught in the 'flow', believing ourselves unable to influence the outcome of events. We try not to 'rock the boat', asking no questions, maintaining the status quo. We perceive ourselves as different from those in power, who establish these dictates over our lives, but that is merely appearance.

To conclude, as long we see ourselves as confined by the dictates of modern society we will remain thus confined. We have been misguided into thinking we have had control over these aspects of our lives, but they are merely the chains that bind us. They are mental chains, and as long as we mentally allow society to dictate to us, the leaders of society will maintain their influence over the direction of an individual's life and how one is to navigate through it. Furthermore, the 'education' of our kids is not for the personal, social, or mental benefit of our children, but for the monetary benefit of their future employers: You.

Modern families spend their times infighting over the traditional roles of men and women and are too busy to notice that they have been stripped of all power and control over themselves and their environment. Women have been disgraced because they are only 'valuable' if they possess physical beauty. Men are disgraced because they are only valuable if they possess physical wealth. In between these two are 'traditional' men and women seeking nothing more than to love and be loved, to raise their family in safety, security, and comfort, and to live in peace. But 'society' demands full use of our time just to ensure the survival of our families, which leaves us with a conundrum: How do we break the cycle?

Will men and women ever be able to enjoy each other again in the traditional way to promote the peace and mental security of both parties? I know many women are fiercely independent, and much of this will probably anger them as it implies that they are outside of the 'traditional' role of women as domestic 'wife' and mother. History is the teacher, not modern thought, so look there if you seek to disparage. Were it not for men long ago acting in their traditional capacities as protector and provider in communal families, humanity would now be extinct. It is equally certain that had women not been the traditional mothers and wives, the human race would still be extinct.

But in order for the schism between the male and female haves of the human race to be dissolved, the traditional roles and equanimity between genders will have to be reverted.