One Disney World Attraction at a Time: Pirates of the Caribbean

Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida has four theme parks full of amazing attractions including rides, shows, movies, and more. The parks are so popular that they draw in more tourists per year then any other place on Earth and that's really no surprise. Something else that isn't a surprise is that Disney wanted to take full advantage of the popularity its great rides and shows have garnered over time. What better way to do that then to make films based on the most loved rides?

Over time I'm going to dissect and analyze all of the attractions spread throughout the wonderful universe that is Walt Disney World. Some of them have had films made after them. Others have had merchandise driven out in droves thanks to popular characters or themes. But every single ride or show has a special meaning to me since Disney has been a part of my life from the earliest days of my existence. With such a fond passion for all things Disney; I feel it only necessary to share my knowledge of all the rides with each and every one of you.

Starting with...The Pirates of the Caribbean.

On December 15, 1973, the attraction opened in Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom to the delight of many guests. It is truly one of the most treasured rides in all of the parks and constantly has plenty of elated guests waiting in line to partake in all the shenanigans. Making your way through the archways upon the large stone slabbed ground; winds blow as you wind through tunnels further into the pits of despair and onto the boats. Along the way you'll hear the faint whistling of the world-renowned theme, "Yo-Ho, Yo-Ho! A pirate's life for me." Cannons, cannonballs, and black powder line some windows as the pirates prepare for battle, but something doesn't feel quite right.

Perhaps it is the ghostly skeletons down in the prison cell below playing chess or the spirited pirate ship sailing by in the distance. Things are about to get extremely real here as the pirates welcome (?) all those that dare sail down the seas straight into the hearth of scallywags.

Traversing down the waters deeper into the caves, a glowing waterfall flows in the distance. Soon the voice and ghastly image of Davey Jones appears warning all that they shall not go any further or else risk forever becoming a member of the Flying Dutchman. Rounding a corner we see that pirates are truly pirates forever as a skeleton still stands behind the wheel as we are all warned that "Dead men tell no tales."

At this moment, your boat full of other wannabe pirates heads into the darkness and down a quick and unsuspecting drop that gives a slight splash and stirs up the adrenaline. It's not a huge drop. Fourteen feet to be exact, but it will more then surely get your attention and have the entire boat kind of giggling to themselves.

From this point on, you will travel slowly through the experience of what it would be like to be a pirate. You'll sail directly through a cannonball battle between the sea-loving pirates and the landlubbers. Be careful as you're bound to get splashed because you never quite know where a rogue cannonball could land.

Moving on you'll sail through cityscape after cityscape learning what the life of a pirate is like. You'll quickly realize that it is very much like the lyrics of the song being sung throughout. "The kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot." Truer words were never spoken as a woman screams from a second story window while she watches her husband being dunked into a well repeatedly. A few feet ahead, the a-hem, beautiful women of the town are being auctioned off by a pirate auctioneer as the other lowly bildrats hope to win the hand of the fair redheaded maiden.

The next couple scenes are quite bothersome even though they have gone through multiple changes over the years. Currently you'll see some women chasing pirates around and around trying to get the low-lifes out of their houses. Another small scene has a pair of not-so-bright pirates carrying a treasure chest round and round the same wall because they just don't realize which direction to go. Captain Jack Sparrow also makes a random appearance as he searches for his greatest treasure.

My problem lies with the women chasing the pirates. Originally the attraction had pirates chasing the women around and around the circular hallways but that eventually had to be changed. There were cries of sexism and other such nonsense that Disney virtually had no choice. I'm not one that is for sexism whatsoever, but that is just ridiculous. It's a pirate scene people and it is in a Disney World attraction. It's not like there were signs up stating that all women in this day and age should be treated this way and degraded so as to insinuate they are the weaker sex. Absolutely ridiculous.

Moving on. One of the final scenes allows us all to see what sort of damage pirates can do and really not care at the same time. The entire town is on fire and crumbling to the ground but all they want to do is make sure they've stolen enough goods, drunken enough rum, and managed to sing "Yo-Ho" all the while doing it. Sounds like a great time to me.

Our final room sails our vessels through a jail cell that has a few pirates incarcerated that happened to be forgotten about as the city began to burn. Their only hope is a scroungy looking mutt a few feet away with the keys to their freedom dangling in his mouth. Doesn't really matter how much they whistle and call though because as Jack Sparrow once told them, "They'll never get that dog to listen."

Speaking of our fearless captain; he is our very last view sitting on a throne and enjoying the stolen wealth he has recently accumulated. Captain Jack lets everyone know as they sail out of sight that there is no other way of living then how he goes through every day because it truly is a pirate's life for him.

What an amazing and adventurous journey we were all just taken on to admire in pure wonder as our boats pull up to the dock and we are instructed to gather our belongings and step out to the left. Straight up a ramp back to civilization is where we're all headed now to check out the immense amount of pirate merchandise we can get our hands on. Be sure not to pillage it though because you need to dish out your own cash here so that you can take home a shirt or your very own pirate hat or eyepatch.

Pirates of the Caribbean has undergone some changes in recent years as the films have gotten to be so popular, but I'm pleased to announce that the changes and additions aren't very drastic. They don't necessarily alter the ride much and definitely don't anger me as changes in the past have done. Pirates of the Caribbean is one of the great classics in Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom that can be and must be enjoyed by all that visit. Your trip truly won't be complete without sailing the seven seas with all the really bad eggs so drink up me hearties yo-ho.